Morning thoughts

I've noticed that the time just after you wake up is a great time to communicate with the denizens of the subconscious - you've just come from their depths and they, in turn, are also closer to the surface. I felt like I'd had some dealings with some male principles in my dreams and sank into a vision as Persephone with Hephastus.

I/She was lying there on my side and I felt him lying behind and holding me. At the same time I felt my need to be held like this by a strong, loving man, I also knew he wasn't going to baby me and replace my strength with his - he's there for me while I'm learning my own strength.

It was an amazing experience, one which is reaching to the heart of my problem with Persephone, who was very present and still longs for a man's strong, loving embrace. Hephaestus was like the “good father” she’s seeking to heal the wounds of all the bad fathering she’s had. And he was there for her, but both he and Persephone know that this is a stage that’s part of her journey to wholeness. Right now she’s looking for strength in him. What she needs is to accept her own strength. But I do feel like he’s really supporting me in this journey.

I also had conversations with the some other goddesses, Aphrodite and Hera in particular. I like Aphrodite, even though I don't really understand her. I also don't understand Hera at all, and I know she and Artemis often fight (with Hera beating the crap out of Artemis in every conflict) but I was trying to see Hera's strengths and the reasons why she feels compelled to act as cruelly as she does. Both Hera and Aphrodite are female power perverted by patriarchal society. Aphrodite, while she at least is whole within herself, is still misunderstood and hated or objectified by others. And Hera takes that objectification and objectifies herself, and in sublimating her power in order to retain her status, she warps everything around her; her relationships and her very self.

I've been very absorbed in the gods, and I'm enjoying my interaction with them, as well as coming to see the gods in the people around me. But this is still very early days and I know there's a lot of deepening to do. And I still feel Heph around me, and am feeling very Persephone, but I can feel she's moving and changing, which is a good thing.