The provisional life

... Here again... he has come to the edge, to the end. He cannot go farther in the way he is now going... He felt he had come to an end and could not go on in the same way. He has one split in his psyche, a very deep one.

(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus,  page 136.)



I've been going through another amazing period of synchronicities - I don't know if they're happening more since I got back into this Jungian stuff or I just wasn't aware of it before. Recently I felt compelled to get Marie-Louise von Franz's Puer Aeternus. I actually wasn't too interested in the issue for the longest time, despite the fact that this is a huge, huge problem of mine (as it is for any Persephone, or any predominantly intuition type). What I'd really wanted to study was myths and fairy tales and symbolism, but just recently, suddenly I knew it was time to deal with the problem of the eternal child in me... the one that runs (and sometimes ruins) my life. And as soon as I made up my mind to study the problem all sorts of dreams, Tarot and I-ching readings have been pointing to the issue.

What had been coming up, and for some time now (all my life, really), was the need to grow up and grow down; to grow down into the earth, into all the petty, routine, everyday necessities of life which we intuitives/Persephones are notoriously bad at. Things are suddenly coming to a head and, of course, the urge to study about the puer aeternus intensified.

Although the puer aeternus is a male archetype I can say from personal experience that there's a female version. Von Franz suggests that in women it's our animus that gets possessed by the puer. That may be, or perhaps there's a female type, a puella aeterna, probably Persephone. It's something I'm going to have to think about but, whichever the case, the description definitely applies to me, and I know there are other many other women out there just like me (you'll find us all over the internet.)

The main difference between the puer and the puella, as far as I can see, is in love relationships: the puer both seeks and runs away from the Great Earth Mother, while Persephone gets sucked into the Underworld by the Demon Lover. Being devoured by the Earth is the common theme of both, but one runs away from the Devouring Earth, into the heavens, and the other runs away from life, into a perfect world in the Underworld. As an aside, I find it interesting that the two archetypes that I get along the best with, Dionysus and Hermes, are both puer aeterni. They are, in fact, the two sides of the puer archetype: the ecstatic son of the Mother Goddess who dies and rises again; and the airy, winged bird man, who feels he will die if he has to stay on the earth but, like his brother, usually dies young, too "pure" to stick it out and stay in this mortal coil. Following is an excellent description of the puer/puella by the ever insightful Marie-Louise von Franz.


The Eternal Youth

[T]he man who is identified with the archetype of the puer aeternus remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen...

[G]reat difficulty is experienced in adaptation to the social situation. In some cases, there is a kind of asocial individualism: being something special, one has no need to adapt, for that would be impossible for such a hidden genius, and so on. In addition, an arrogant attitude arises towards other people, due to both an inferiority complex and false feelings of superiority. Such people usually have great difficulty in finding the right kind of job, for whatever they find is never quite right or quite what they wanted. There is always a "hair in the soup..." There is always a "but" which prevents marriage or any kind of commitment.

This all leads to a form of neurosis which H.G. Baynes has described as the "provisional life"; that is, the strange attitude and feeling that the woman is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about. If this attitude is prolonged, it means a constant inner refusal to commit oneself to the moment. Accompanying this neurosis is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior or Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; that the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found. This can progress to a typical pathological megalomania, or there may be minor traces of it in the idea that one's time "has not yet come." The one situation dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatsoever. There is a terrific fear of being pinned down, of entering space and time completely, and of being the specific human being that one is. There is always the fear of being caught in a situation from which it may be impossible to slip out again. Every just-so situation is hell.

(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus,  pages 1-2.)

I'm one of those people who can never seem to get their lives straight, who go through life staggering from one near disaster to the next. Loved ones watch us nearly ruin our lives over and over again (and sometimes succeed), shaking their heads in amazement that such an intelligent person can fail to _________ (fill in the blank: keep our apartment clean, sew up that missing button or hole-y sock, get or keep a decent job, save money if we somehow manage to keep a decent job, etcetera.) It's not that we don't have good intentions, we do! We generally have, or at least start off, with the very best of intentions; but somewhere along the line we lose it, we lose everything. It's as if it's physically impossible to get up off the couch and away from streaming Netflix movies, or get away from the Internet or whatever it is that has us glued in place with the gravitational force of a giant black hole.

The problem with us puer/puellas is that we live so close to the unconscious that our ego never fully develops. This gives us a zest for life and a depth of feeling that most of us would rather die before giving up, but it can and does also lead to some serious problems coping with this world. Jung and von Franz seem to believe that when we say that we just can't do whatever boring-ass thing we're "supposed" to do, that we really can't. Our egos just never developed the strength to force all the parts of us to pull in one direction if we really didn't want to. Or on the other hand, it could be that we really could but it's just hard, and the one thing we don't like is hard, so we drift through life like brainless amoebas, moving towards what is pleasant and where possible avoiding the unpleasant. But then life smacks us upside the head with the two by four, calling us to expand and grow. And that means the dreaded "W" word (or "WORK"!)


Plowing the fields before you

... What cure is there? you might ask... In Symbols of Transformation, Dr. Jung spoke of one cure - work - and having said that, he hesitated and thought, "Is it really as simple as all that? Is that the only cure? Can I put it that way?" But work is the one disagreeable word which no puer aeternus likes to hear, and Dr. Jung came to the conclusion that it was the right answer. My experience also has been that it is through work that a man can pull out of this kind of youthful neurosis. There are, however, some misunderstandings in this connection, for the puer aeternus can work, as can all primitives or people with weak ego complexes, when fascinated or in a state of great enthusiasm. Then he can work twenty-four hours at a stretch or even longer, until he breaks down. But what he cannot do is work on a dreary, rainy morning when work is boring and one has to kick oneself into it; that is the one thing the puer aeternus usually cannot manage and will use any kind of excuse to avoid. Analysis of a puer aeternus sooner or later always comes up against this problem. It is only when the ego has become sufficiently strengthened that the problem can be overcome, and the possibility of sticking to the work is given. Naturally, though one knows the goal, every individual case is different. Personally, I have not found that it is much good just preaching to people that they should work, for they simply get angry and walk off.

As far as I have seen, the unconscious generally tries to produce a compromise - namely, to indicate the direction in which there might be some enthusiasm or where the psychological energy would flow naturally, for it is, of course, easier to train oneself to work in a direction supported by one's instinct. That is not quite so hard as working completely uphill in opposition to your own flow of energy. Therefore, it is usually advisable to wait a while, find out where the natural flow of interest and energy lies and then try to get the man to work there. But in every field of work there always comes the time when routine must be faced. All work, even creative work, contains a certain amount of boring routine, which is where the puer aeternus escapes and comes to the conclusion again that "this is not it!" In such moments, if one is supported by the unconscious, dreams generally occur which show that one should push on thorugh the obstacle. If that succeeds, then the battle is won.

(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus,  pages 5-6.)

The cure for the puer/puella is coming down to the earth. By voluntarily choosing to come down one avoids crashing, because that's what will happen. One way or the other, the earth will claim us. Our only choice, as is always the case, is whether we follow our destiny, wholeheartedly and with grace; or fighting against it every step of the way. In the latter case, the earth becomes a moldy tomb; a yawning, gaping maw that waits our whole lives to devour us (as it eventually will.) In the former, the earth is shelter and friend, the source of life and nourishment as well as delight. The puella spends her life looking for the thing that will make her whole, not realizing that it's the very thing that she runs away from, always runs away from; that is, the other half of her. By turning to face and embrace what we fear, we finally find our true Selves.

... Here again... he has come to the edge, to the end. He cannot go farther in the way he is now going... He felt he had come to an end and could not go on in the same way. He has one split in his psyche, a very deep one.

... When he has to go over the border into another country, he projects the idea that now he is going to fall into the hole in his psyche. The prison phobia is very obvious, too. He is like a bird; he never gets pinned down to earth... So the prison is the negative symbol of the mother complex (in which he sits in fact all the time), or it would be prospectively just exactly what he needs, for he needs to be put into prison - the prison of reality. But he runs away from the prison anyway, wherever he turns. He has only the choice of two prisons: either that of his neurosis or that of his reality; thus, he is caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. That is his fate, and that is the fate of the puer aeternus altogether. It is up to him which he prefers: that of his mother complex and his neurosis, or that of being caught in the just-so story of earthly reality.

When the dreamer gets further down, suddenly the heavens below solidify and look like the earth as seen from an airplane, with a quadrangular pattern of fields. It is a very positive image, for now the split is beginning to close. A difference of levels still exists, however, for between the earth above and the earth below is a very sudden change of level, such as that which often appears in the psychological geography of a dream where there are two levels and no connecting steps. Such a dreamer might switch between intellect and instinct in his way of living without any bridge between. But that would not show a very dangerous situation, since it is one that occurs frequently in the case of young people who have not yet harmonized the relationship between the two. The wound in this dreamer's psyche is healing; the earth level is rising through the fact that, by accepting, for once, an unknown situation and venturing into it, he is touching human reality for the first time - he is touching the earth upon which we live.

... It is the civilized earth and suggests work, so that one is reminded of Dr. Jung's words that work is part of the cure of the split and the difficulties of the puer - just ploughing some plot of earth, no matter which, is helpful. I remember him saying to a puer-aeternus type, "It does not matter what job you take. The point is that for once you do something thoroughly and conscientiously, whatever it is." This man insisted that if only he could find the right occupation, then he would work, but that he could not find it. Dr. Jung's answer was, "Never mind, just take the next bit of earth you can find. Plough it and plant something in it. No matter whether it is business, or teaching, or anything else, give yourself for once to that field which is ahead of you." Everybody has in front of him a field of reality where he can work if he wants to, and the childish trick of saying, "I would work if it were the right thing," is one of the many self-delusions of the puer aeternus, by which he keeps within the mother and his megalomanic identification with the god - because the gods, as you know, do not work.

... Fields would also imply limitation. That is the drawback of getting in touch with reality, because in that way one becomes limited: there are restrictions. One comes to the miserable human situation where one's hands are tied and it is not possible to do as one would like, something which is particularly disagreeable to the puer aeternus. What one produces is always miserable compared with the fantasies one had lying in bed dreaming about what one would do if one could!

(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus,  pages 136, 157-158.)



Bringing it all together

Reading the last paragraph above was one of those "laugh out loud" moments, and one of the synchronicities I was talking about earlier, because just the day before I had thrown the following I-ching hexagrams.

Hexagram 60: Limitations

In a limited, human life, one achieves significance through discrimination and the setting of limits: unlimited possibilities are not suited to humans. To become strong, one needs the limitations ordained by duty and voluntarily accepted. We attain significance as a free spirit only by setting our own limits and determining for ourselves what out duty is.

If you seek to impose galling limits, it would be injurious - there must be a limit on limits as well.

9 in the 5th place: The ruling line of the hexagram. Limits must be carried out in the right way, i.e. by applying limits to oneself. That way leads to success, and with success one leads by example. Galling limitation would lead to failure, but owing to the enlightened and moderate behavior of the ruler of the hexagram this danger is overcome.

Hexagram 7: The Army

Water under earth; the ground water stored up in the earth. In the same way military strength is stored up in the mass of the people - invisible in times of peace but always ready for use as a source of power - water is stored in the earth.

An army is a mass that needs organization in order to become a fighting force. Without strict discipline nothing can be accomplished, but this discipline must not be achieved by force. It requires a strong man who captures the hearts of the people and awakens their enthusiasm. In order that he may develop his abilities he needs the complete confidence of his ruler, who must entrust him with full responsibility as long as the war lasts. But war is always a dangerous thing and brings with it destruction and devastation. Therefore it should not be resorted to rashly but, like a poisonous drug, should be used as a last recourse.

Ground water is invisibly present within the earth; in the same way the military power of a people is invisibly present in the masses. When danger threatens, every peasant becomes a soldier; when the war ends, they goes back to their plow. She who is generous toward the people wins their love, and a people living under a mild rule becomes strong and powerful. Only a people economically strong can be important in military power. Such power must therefore be cultivated by improving the economic condition of the people and by humane government. Only when there is this invisible bond between government and people, so that the people are sheltered by their government as ground water is sheltered by the earth, is it possible to wage a victorious war.

This is the answer, of course; the answer to the question I hadn't even known I was asking.

Well, I kind of knew; things were coming to a head at work. As is typical for a puella I was having problems and was worried about whether or not I was even going to be able to keep my job, a never ending concern of mine for all the reasons that it's so hard for us puellas to buckle down and get to work, especially if it's boring and completely uninspiring. I had the feeling that now was the time to face the problem of living in the world. In fact, perhaps it's time to flip over the functions from intuition, my second function, and start working on my third function, sensation.

You have to do this kind of work in the right way, tho, and at the right time. All of us puellas have had the experience of telling ourselves that "this time we'll do it." Maybe there is an aspect of grace to this whole going down to the earth thing; that the unconscious itself has to support you, you can't just "decide" to do it. That would be the ego deciding for reasons of power, control or status; or not wanting to feel like a loser and a jerk again. But it can't come from the ego; it has to come from the Self. But when the Self comes knocking with a plow in one hand and a pair of overalls in the other, we can't try to shut the door in it's face. We have to answer the call when it comes.

That being said, it's important to have subtlety and act with moderation. I like how the hexagrams describe the relationship between the "general" and the "peasants;" or the ego and the vast powers of the unconscious. In the past, General Ego tried to bully and beat the peasants into working for him, but that's obviously the wrong way to go about things; the relationship between the two should be full of affection and support. A good general protects his people, cares for them, first and foremost. But caring for them doesn't mean letting them laze about, letting the crops die because they're choked by weeds, or rotting out in the fields. In that case, getting the peasants to work is actually a way of showing caring and protection, because who suffers first when there's a famine? Yes, there is a need for limits and discipline, but not galling limits or galling discipline. Discipline must be softened with generosity and strong ties of devotion and protection between leader and lead, between the ego and the energies within.

Limitation also means setting limits on the puella in other ways; it means that she's going to finally have to choose what she wants to be when she grows up and stick with it. The world is so full of fascinating, wonderful things that I tend to flit from one thing to the next, getting really involved with my current fascination and then dropping it when I find the next. Life vastly entertaining this way, but you never actually accomplish anything. The good thing is that, with Jungian psychology, I really do feel like I've figured out what I want to be when I "grow up." And, with all those years of sampling one aspect of life after the other, I can pick the few things I love best. Yes, it hurts to think of all the wonderful things I won't be doing, but if you want to actually accomplish anything by the time you die, you have to give up the good in order to achieve the best. So for me, that means - besides the things everyone has to do (unless they're independently wealthy) like keeping my home clean and beautiful, and cooking nutritious and delicious food - I will focus on sewing beautiful, unique clothing and my instant photography. And maybe I'll keep dabbling a bit in natural perfumery since I will also continue to make my own soap, shampoo, lotion, etc.

One thing that's been percolating in my mind for months, ever since I wrote about integrating the four functions, is the idea that I need to move to the third function which for me would be sensation. Von Franz writes about how cleaning is the way a woman expresses love for the physical world. My experience with G was the first step in staying in the "fiery bath" of love; I think expressing love for the physical world - and all the painfully boring, kick-oneself-out-of-bed-on-a-rainy-morning feelings that will bring up - is the next step.


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