Re-reading this post has made me realize that it could be hurtful for some people so I'm adding a caveat. At the same time, when I started this blog I decided I had to be brutally honest... about my own ugliness and pettiness. Otherwise it doesn't really have much meaning. This is supposed to be one person's journey into their Underworld; it's bound to be personally embarrassing at times. That being said, I'd like to be clear that I strongly believe that any prejudice, whether based on age, sex, sexual orientation, religion, color, whatever, is wrong. Period, point blank.
... Which is why this recent development makes me so happy!
I'm noticing that my perception of older people is changing. Whereas before I was very resistant to growing old - and, quite honestly, found older people unattractive - that feeling has evaporated somewhere along the line.
Over the weekend I was watching a documentary (Between the Folds, an amazing and beautiful documentary on the art and science of origami.) And I suddenly noticed that I found the older people interesting rather than faintly unattractive. This seems to be part of the whole first half/second half of life issue: in the first half, you're concerned (rightly) with success, and that includes sexual success. But in the second half, we start to see the reality of life. We stop caring about this world and "success" and more about depth of life, and the beauty of life.
One thing that stood out was that invariably, as these origami artists grew in themselves and their art, they found themselves simplifying things. When they were younger, they wanted to make the biggest, most complex, most realistic origami. As they grew older, they wanted to simplify, to say more with less. When you're younger, you want to be better, to do better. As you grow older, you care more about the beauty of a thing.
If recently I've come to realize that the purpose of life is to die well, then this experience is showing me that aging well is about seeing the beauty of life. I feel like I'm finally beginning to understand that.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
~ Leonardo da Vinci
Edit: 6/25/12 pm
It's tonight and it's still happening; this feeling of seeing older people, really seeing them. There's a feeling of almost being two different species, with two different goals. It reminds me of a book by Sheri Tepper, Grass, set on an alien planet in which the species has two completely different phases. The older is gentle and wise, the younger predatory, preying on and killing the older. They're so different they look like completely different species. It's as if caterpillars killed and ate butterflies.
Knowing Tepper this is exactly what she was writing about, I just never got it before. I look at younger people and I realize that all they're interested in, all they judge others on, is sexual attractiveness. Other things are there but at the base of it sex is the most important. Fundamentally I don't see a real problem with this, but our problem is that everyone seems to hold the younger view; that is, that people have no value unless they're sexually attractive to others. We have a society of people in which we only grow older on the outside, not the inside. And we end up hating ourselves. Inside of us is Tepper's planet, with the young animals feeding on and killing the older, wise, gentle and beautiful creatures.
One of the symbols of the Self is the beautiful young woman or man. This is the image that we as a society have become trapped in, even when it no longer serves us but actually harms us. We've forgotten the Wise Old Woman or Man. We've lost the wisdom and grace that growing older brings, deepening in the second half of life until we return to the beginning, but with a lifetime of experience and wisdom. The Child is also a symbol of the Self, but to stay in it and refuse to grow up is a disease. It's no different with trying to stay in the young woman or man.
The physical decline we suffer from, sometimes severe, isn't a natural part of aging but the consequences of an unnatural and harmful diet and lifestyle. Natural and proper aging, although with some decline in pure power and physicality, isn't about becoming weak and frail, it's about turning inward. Each stage of life has it's own grace. Each stage has it's own image of the Self, if we live our lives deeply. It's a rather amazing experience, shedding another layer of the false paradigm we've been hypnotized by. To be able to see the real person, neither as a power player nor as a sexual object, but to see the real, unique, individual person that they are. It really does feel like grace.
Edit 6/26/12
I think I may have it! Aging definitely is an "owl" to youth; they only undersand it with fear and loathing. But aging has many gifts that, unless youth die to it's youth, we will die without ever having understood.
That's what my dreams were telling me; that my sexuality (the cat) and youth (the child) were harming what was spiritual and wise in me (the praying mantis and owl.) And how that I'm caring for them, I've started receiving their gifts.
“Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.” The point isn't the having or the getting but the wanting, the feeling. It's like making great art... our lives themselves are a great work in the making.
Showing posts with label Persephone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Persephone. Show all posts
Monday, June 25, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Grey wings and red
[T]he alchemical philosophers conceive their aqua nostra to be ignis (fire). The source means not only the flow of life but its warmth, indeed its heat, the secret of passion, whose synonyms are always fiery. The all-dissolving aqua nostra is an essential ingredient in the production of the lapis. But the source is underground and therefore the way leads underneath; only down below can we find the fiery source of life.
(C.G. Jung, Dreams, p. 194)
It's cool how the universe sends exactly what you happen to be thinking about, when you're thinking about it. I'm still thinking about the dream about the man with grey wings and everything that brought up, so of course I keep finding stuff related to that. I was trying to finally finish Jung's Dreams and I kept running into the topic.
The dream about the Man with Grey Wings is about G. The symbolism of the color grey suits him pretty much to a T, both the problems he's having as well as the strengths that are his:
Another thing that's helping put things into perspective is in remembering the dream about The Man with Gray Wings is that fact that it's not me he's necessarily running away from, it's the shouting man in the water; i.e., himself. All I'm doing is reassuring him. But I really do feel this is something he needs, especially since he's living the more negative aspects of the Grey than the positive ones right now. Below is another thing that came up, which explores the relation of Dionysian passion with Hades (which is what G is):
I'm still not 100% sure of what it is that I'm supposed to be doing but at least the situation is becoming much clearer, especially compared to when I first got hexagram 38, Estrangement and I had absolutely no idea what that had to do with anything. Now at least I know what it has to do with... now I just need to figure out what it is that I need to do. I think it's to stay with it, but with a certain Mantis-like detachment and larger vision.
References
1. Jung, C.G., Dreams.
http://www.three-musketeers.net/mike/colors.html#red
http://www.squidoo.com/colorexpert#module1541678
http://crystal-cure.com/red.html
(C.G. Jung, Dreams, p. 194)
It's cool how the universe sends exactly what you happen to be thinking about, when you're thinking about it. I'm still thinking about the dream about the man with grey wings and everything that brought up, so of course I keep finding stuff related to that. I was trying to finally finish Jung's Dreams and I kept running into the topic.
The dream about the Man with Grey Wings is about G. The symbolism of the color grey suits him pretty much to a T, both the problems he's having as well as the strengths that are his:
[S]ecurity, reliability, intelligence, staid, modesty, maturity, conservative, old age, sadness, and boring.This is pretty much a perfect description of G, and even as I was interpreting the dream I realized that my red wings had to have something to do with this. Below are what the color red symbolizes, from the same websites:
[T]imeless, practical, and solid... [C]an mix well with any color. Although well liked and often worn, people rarely name gray as a favorite color possibly because Gray also is associated with loss or depression.
Gray is the color of sorrow. People who favor gray can be the lone wolf type or narrow-minded. Gray with more silver in it can be a very active color.
Native Americans associate gray with friendship. Gray is the symbol for security, maturity and dependability. It connotes responsibility and conservative practicality.
Gray is the true neutral color. Its energy imparts void, emptiness, lack of movement, emotion, warmth and identifying characteristics. Because of this, gray can be restful. It has a detached and isolated feeling. Gray can have a cooling effect when placed next to other more vibrant colors. It has a stabilizing effect, making vibrant colors stand out while muting their vibration
Red can symbolize many things; from blood, to love, to infatuation. For example, red can symbolize excitement, energy, speed, strength, danger, passion, and aggression. According to Henry Dreyfus, it is popularly felt that red, the color of blood and fire, represents life and vitality... Red is also looked upon as a sensual color, and can be associated with man's most profound urges and impulses.I can't help thinking about the Union of Unreconcilables and how central this difficult union is to my current tasks, in particular in regards to my relationship issues with G. Even in the description of the color grey they talk about how these two opposite colors have the ability to moderate each other. At the same time, it makes it obvious why our dynamic is as annoying as it is, with me pursuing (and scaring the bejeesus out of him) and him being scared and running away. Aside from the fact that people who are focused on this world, as sensation types like him are, are pretty much completely terrified of the "other world" (which is also precisely what he needs from me), there's the fact that as the Grey in this pair, he's the one who's careful and fearful. And I'm the one who's frightening. Maybe I need my Mantis to help me keep this in mind and not take things so personally.
Red is the warmest of all colors... Red is associated with fiery heat and warmth. It can also mean danger (burning). Red is the color of blood, and as such has strong symbolism as life and vitality. It brings focus to the essence of life and living with emphasis on survival. Red is also the color of passion and lust.
Put some red in your life when you want:
increased enthusiasm and interest
more energy
action and confidence to go after your dreams
protection from fears and anxieties
Another thing that's helping put things into perspective is in remembering the dream about The Man with Gray Wings is that fact that it's not me he's necessarily running away from, it's the shouting man in the water; i.e., himself. All I'm doing is reassuring him. But I really do feel this is something he needs, especially since he's living the more negative aspects of the Grey than the positive ones right now. Below is another thing that came up, which explores the relation of Dionysian passion with Hades (which is what G is):
The Dionysian element has to do with emotions and affects which have found no suitable religious outlets in the predominantly Apollonian cult and ethos of Christianity. The medieval carnivals and jeux de paume in the Church were abolished relatively early; consequently the carnival became secularized and with it divine intoxication vanished from the sacred precincts. Mourning, earnestness, severity, and well-tempered spiritual joy remained... "But Hades is the same Dionysos in whose honour they go mad and keep the feast of the wine-vat."(1, p. 217)
I'm still not 100% sure of what it is that I'm supposed to be doing but at least the situation is becoming much clearer, especially compared to when I first got hexagram 38, Estrangement and I had absolutely no idea what that had to do with anything. Now at least I know what it has to do with... now I just need to figure out what it is that I need to do. I think it's to stay with it, but with a certain Mantis-like detachment and larger vision.
References
1. Jung, C.G., Dreams.
http://www.three-musketeers.net/mike/colors.html#red
http://www.squidoo.com/colorexpert#module1541678
http://crystal-cure.com/red.html
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Water under the tree
Synchronicities happening all over the place!! And amazing meditations, on the train to work of all times (I guess that's one good thing about my bike being out of commission for so long...)
With this thing with G and everything, feelings keep welling up; feelings of sadness and loss, longing. So I've been turning all of my feelings into seeds and planting them. Since yesterday, whenever any feeling for G or related to my longing for love comes up, I mentally take my hands and bring them together around the the part of my body the energy is gathering (sometimes it's in my belly or my sex, sometimes in my heart or my head). Like a potter bringing a ball of clay together, or a figure skater drawing her arms in to bring the energy in towards the center, I would bring all the energy together and concentrate it into one, charged, spinning ball. This would transform into a seed or a pearl or something. Then I'd dig a hole in the ground until I saw the groundwater and place the seed in the hole and cover it up. I've been doing this since last night.
This morning on the train I figured out that I was planting trees, and the trees were in a large circle, a henge. In the center was my sacred place. At one point I closed my eyes and walked over goddess knows what (at one point it was broken glass) but, as in my dream, I trusted Her and the glass was also changed into the forest floor.
The amazing thing that happened was with the music. At first, I was listening to This Mortal Coil's album It'll End in Tears when "Song to the Siren" came on; this is the song that I've been obsessively listening to lately, because of my longing for love (and for my animus) and I knew I had to take all of those feelings and plant them, too. I also felt that it was time to move to another album so I put on Florence + the Machine's Lungs. And what was the first song to come on? "Blinding," the song that I was obsessing over when I was longing for G, and when all those feelings came up I took them, too, but this time it was a huge hurricane and I was in the center of it. I pulled everything into the center of my heart, and my heart became a giant pearl. Then, the next song was "Hurricane Drunk"!!! Which made me laugh out loud, and as it played I cut open my heart, walked to the center of the henge with my open would leaking blood onto the ground, then buried the still blood covered pearl at the center. In the center instead of just ground water was a spring - the spring which will come out of the roots of the tree, which will be watered by the spring and nourshed by the blood from my heart. And I realized what my sacrifice was, and my offering, and felt even more that I would sacrifice anything - my relationship with G, or any chance of a relationship I had, my job, my home, my life, anything - to find my Center, my Self. The feeling is still small but it's growing in me.
The final song that came on after that, just as I was walking towards the handless Monster Tentacle Mother (who now has hands!) was "You've Got the Love," and I felt Her love for me and had to laugh out loud again.
And it's starting to become clear what my I-ching reading had to do with my need for love: The love and longing I feel? The longing for someone to love me and be there for me? What I'm really longing for is God/dess. She's the one who will be there for me, wipe the tear from my eye, support and nourish me. What I've been looking for for so long in love relationship with men is because my mother complex is so empty and messed up; just like I look for Her in the sweetness of food, I've been looking for Her in the sweetness of love. And now, She really is approaching Her temple, the secret henge of trees in the wood, with it's tree nourshed by my own blood and the Water of Life springing up from it's roots.
Edit: The devouring mother
Re-reading my post about Twilight made me think of something I heard while re-listening to Marie-Louise von Franz's The Way of the Dream:
It's good to have a relationship with the unearthly Iseult, but when that relationship interferes with one's relationships on earth, and one's duties to our lived lives, that relationship becomes pathological. In just the same way that cutting ourselves off from the Otherworld is death, so is cutting ourselves off from this world. We need both. Puers and puellas have the one problem, other types have the other. Both are bad. Just as we need two legs to walk, we need to live and thrive in both worlds, in both sides of our human beings.
... Something else occurred to me: what if the monster tentacle mother is the "devouring mother" von Franz refers to above? She has no hands so she can't act, no feet so she can't move. I never lived with my mother - I felt abandoned. There's always been a huge emptiness inside me that I never even knew about, but that would come out in my desperate search for someone I could depend on and my desperate desire to eat. This mother in me had been mutilated, turned into a monster. She could only touch others with the monstrous part of her.
This is what it means to have a "negative mother complex" - the mother is mutilated, turned into something monstrous, which can't touch or act or connect with others, can't speak or see or take in nourishment. It can only devour, and it destroys where it seeks connection and nourishment. With an inner Mother like this, is it surprising that her son, the animus, is so dangerous? He's only trying to get for the mother what she needs. This is why the two are so closely connected: romantic love and the inner mother. We somehow instinctively know the two are connected. To heal them is a task fraught with danger! But is there anything more worth the risk?
With this thing with G and everything, feelings keep welling up; feelings of sadness and loss, longing. So I've been turning all of my feelings into seeds and planting them. Since yesterday, whenever any feeling for G or related to my longing for love comes up, I mentally take my hands and bring them together around the the part of my body the energy is gathering (sometimes it's in my belly or my sex, sometimes in my heart or my head). Like a potter bringing a ball of clay together, or a figure skater drawing her arms in to bring the energy in towards the center, I would bring all the energy together and concentrate it into one, charged, spinning ball. This would transform into a seed or a pearl or something. Then I'd dig a hole in the ground until I saw the groundwater and place the seed in the hole and cover it up. I've been doing this since last night.
This morning on the train I figured out that I was planting trees, and the trees were in a large circle, a henge. In the center was my sacred place. At one point I closed my eyes and walked over goddess knows what (at one point it was broken glass) but, as in my dream, I trusted Her and the glass was also changed into the forest floor.
The amazing thing that happened was with the music. At first, I was listening to This Mortal Coil's album It'll End in Tears when "Song to the Siren" came on; this is the song that I've been obsessively listening to lately, because of my longing for love (and for my animus) and I knew I had to take all of those feelings and plant them, too. I also felt that it was time to move to another album so I put on Florence + the Machine's Lungs. And what was the first song to come on? "Blinding," the song that I was obsessing over when I was longing for G, and when all those feelings came up I took them, too, but this time it was a huge hurricane and I was in the center of it. I pulled everything into the center of my heart, and my heart became a giant pearl. Then, the next song was "Hurricane Drunk"!!! Which made me laugh out loud, and as it played I cut open my heart, walked to the center of the henge with my open would leaking blood onto the ground, then buried the still blood covered pearl at the center. In the center instead of just ground water was a spring - the spring which will come out of the roots of the tree, which will be watered by the spring and nourshed by the blood from my heart. And I realized what my sacrifice was, and my offering, and felt even more that I would sacrifice anything - my relationship with G, or any chance of a relationship I had, my job, my home, my life, anything - to find my Center, my Self. The feeling is still small but it's growing in me.
The final song that came on after that, just as I was walking towards the handless Monster Tentacle Mother (who now has hands!) was "You've Got the Love," and I felt Her love for me and had to laugh out loud again.
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the airWhere once before I did "magic" in a wrong way today I feel like my visualization was healing and right. I wasn't running away from something - I was running to something.
I know I can count on youSometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"But you've got the love I need To see me throughSometimes it seems that the going is just too roughAnd things go wrong no matter what I doNow and then it seems that life is just too muchBut you've got the love I need to see me throughWhen food is gone you are my daily needWhen friends are gone I know my savior's love is realYou know it's realTime after time I think "Oh Lord what's the use?"Time after time I think it's just no goodSooner or later in life, the things you love you loseBut you've got the love I need to see me throughSometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the airI know I can count on youSometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"But you've got the love I need to see me through
And it's starting to become clear what my I-ching reading had to do with my need for love: The love and longing I feel? The longing for someone to love me and be there for me? What I'm really longing for is God/dess. She's the one who will be there for me, wipe the tear from my eye, support and nourish me. What I've been looking for for so long in love relationship with men is because my mother complex is so empty and messed up; just like I look for Her in the sweetness of food, I've been looking for Her in the sweetness of love. And now, She really is approaching Her temple, the secret henge of trees in the wood, with it's tree nourshed by my own blood and the Water of Life springing up from it's roots.
Re-reading my post about Twilight made me think of something I heard while re-listening to Marie-Louise von Franz's The Way of the Dream:
The unconscious itself can devour the human being. That is why the dream has not been attended to. We are now discovering that the dream world is the most beneficent thing on earth, and that attending to one's dreams is the healthiest thing one can do. But the dream world can also devour a person by way of daydreaming, spinning neurotic fantasies, or chasing unrealistic ideas...I've been doing a lot of work with the animus, especially as I relate to it as a Persephone and an introverted intuitive type. What this all boils down to is that I constantly have to combat a tendency to get lost in the Otherworld. I spent most of my life mainly in a relationship with the unearthly Iseult (or, in my case, The Vampire Lover); I poured all of my love and all of my passion into the dream world. And, even though I managed to meet the basic necessities of life, and to even have some friendships, most of my libido went to this Otherworld.
The dream world is beneficent and healing only if we have a dialogue with it but at the same time remain in actual life. We must not forget living. The duties of real living must not be neglected. As soon as one begins to ignore outer life - one's own body, eating, doing one's ordinary job - then the dream world becomes dangerous. We call that dangerous aspect of the dream world the devouring unconscious, or the devouring mother. It can suck us away from reality and spin us into a neurotic or even psychotic unreality. The dream world is only positive if it is in a living, balanced dialogue with a lived, actually lived, life.
It's good to have a relationship with the unearthly Iseult, but when that relationship interferes with one's relationships on earth, and one's duties to our lived lives, that relationship becomes pathological. In just the same way that cutting ourselves off from the Otherworld is death, so is cutting ourselves off from this world. We need both. Puers and puellas have the one problem, other types have the other. Both are bad. Just as we need two legs to walk, we need to live and thrive in both worlds, in both sides of our human beings.
... Something else occurred to me: what if the monster tentacle mother is the "devouring mother" von Franz refers to above? She has no hands so she can't act, no feet so she can't move. I never lived with my mother - I felt abandoned. There's always been a huge emptiness inside me that I never even knew about, but that would come out in my desperate search for someone I could depend on and my desperate desire to eat. This mother in me had been mutilated, turned into a monster. She could only touch others with the monstrous part of her.
This is what it means to have a "negative mother complex" - the mother is mutilated, turned into something monstrous, which can't touch or act or connect with others, can't speak or see or take in nourishment. It can only devour, and it destroys where it seeks connection and nourishment. With an inner Mother like this, is it surprising that her son, the animus, is so dangerous? He's only trying to get for the mother what she needs. This is why the two are so closely connected: romantic love and the inner mother. We somehow instinctively know the two are connected. To heal them is a task fraught with danger! But is there anything more worth the risk?
Friday, April 27, 2012
The provisional life
... Here again... he has come to the edge, to the end. He cannot go farther in the way he is now going... He felt he had come to an end and could not go on in the same way. He has one split in his psyche, a very deep one.
(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus, page 136.)
I've been going through another amazing period of synchronicities - I don't know if they're happening more since I got back into this Jungian stuff or I just wasn't aware of it before. Recently I felt compelled to get Marie-Louise von Franz's Puer Aeternus. I actually wasn't too interested in the issue for the longest time, despite the fact that this is a huge, huge problem of mine (as it is for any Persephone, or any predominantly intuition type). What I'd really wanted to study was myths and fairy tales and symbolism, but just recently, suddenly I knew it was time to deal with the problem of the eternal child in me... the one that runs (and sometimes ruins) my life. And as soon as I made up my mind to study the problem all sorts of dreams, Tarot and I-ching readings have been pointing to the issue.
What had been coming up, and for some time now (all my life, really), was the need to grow up and grow down; to grow down into the earth, into all the petty, routine, everyday necessities of life which we intuitives/Persephones are notoriously bad at. Things are suddenly coming to a head and, of course, the urge to study about the puer aeternus intensified.
Although the puer aeternus is a male archetype I can say from personal experience that there's a female version. Von Franz suggests that in women it's our animus that gets possessed by the puer. That may be, or perhaps there's a female type, a puella aeterna, probably Persephone. It's something I'm going to have to think about but, whichever the case, the description definitely applies to me, and I know there are other many other women out there just like me (you'll find us all over the internet.)
The main difference between the puer and the puella, as far as I can see, is in love relationships: the puer both seeks and runs away from the Great Earth Mother, while Persephone gets sucked into the Underworld by the Demon Lover. Being devoured by the Earth is the common theme of both, but one runs away from the Devouring Earth, into the heavens, and the other runs away from life, into a perfect world in the Underworld. As an aside, I find it interesting that the two archetypes that I get along the best with, Dionysus and Hermes, are both puer aeterni. They are, in fact, the two sides of the puer archetype: the ecstatic son of the Mother Goddess who dies and rises again; and the airy, winged bird man, who feels he will die if he has to stay on the earth but, like his brother, usually dies young, too "pure" to stick it out and stay in this mortal coil. Following is an excellent description of the puer/puella by the ever insightful Marie-Louise von Franz.
The Eternal Youth
[T]he man who is identified with the archetype of the puer aeternus remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen...(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus, pages 1-2.)
[G]reat difficulty is experienced in adaptation to the social situation. In some cases, there is a kind of asocial individualism: being something special, one has no need to adapt, for that would be impossible for such a hidden genius, and so on. In addition, an arrogant attitude arises towards other people, due to both an inferiority complex and false feelings of superiority. Such people usually have great difficulty in finding the right kind of job, for whatever they find is never quite right or quite what they wanted. There is always a "hair in the soup..." There is always a "but" which prevents marriage or any kind of commitment.
This all leads to a form of neurosis which H.G. Baynes has described as the "provisional life"; that is, the strange attitude and feeling that the woman is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about. If this attitude is prolonged, it means a constant inner refusal to commit oneself to the moment. Accompanying this neurosis is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior or Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; that the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found. This can progress to a typical pathological megalomania, or there may be minor traces of it in the idea that one's time "has not yet come." The one situation dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatsoever. There is a terrific fear of being pinned down, of entering space and time completely, and of being the specific human being that one is. There is always the fear of being caught in a situation from which it may be impossible to slip out again. Every just-so situation is hell.
I'm one of those people who can never seem to get their lives straight, who go through life staggering from one near disaster to the next. Loved ones watch us nearly ruin our lives over and over again (and sometimes succeed), shaking their heads in amazement that such an intelligent person can fail to _________ (fill in the blank: keep our apartment clean, sew up that missing button or hole-y sock, get or keep a decent job, save money if we somehow manage to keep a decent job, etcetera.) It's not that we don't have good intentions, we do! We generally have, or at least start off, with the very best of intentions; but somewhere along the line we lose it, we lose everything. It's as if it's physically impossible to get up off the couch and away from streaming Netflix movies, or get away from the Internet or whatever it is that has us glued in place with the gravitational force of a giant black hole.
The problem with us puer/puellas is that we live so close to the unconscious that our ego never fully develops. This gives us a zest for life and a depth of feeling that most of us would rather die before giving up, but it can and does also lead to some serious problems coping with this world. Jung and von Franz seem to believe that when we say that we just can't do whatever boring-ass thing we're "supposed" to do, that we really can't. Our egos just never developed the strength to force all the parts of us to pull in one direction if we really didn't want to. Or on the other hand, it could be that we really could but it's just hard, and the one thing we don't like is hard, so we drift through life like brainless amoebas, moving towards what is pleasant and where possible avoiding the unpleasant. But then life smacks us upside the head with the two by four, calling us to expand and grow. And that means the dreaded "W" word (or "WORK"!)
Plowing the fields before you
... What cure is there? you might ask... In Symbols of Transformation, Dr. Jung spoke of one cure - work - and having said that, he hesitated and thought, "Is it really as simple as all that? Is that the only cure? Can I put it that way?" But work is the one disagreeable word which no puer aeternus likes to hear, and Dr. Jung came to the conclusion that it was the right answer. My experience also has been that it is through work that a man can pull out of this kind of youthful neurosis. There are, however, some misunderstandings in this connection, for the puer aeternus can work, as can all primitives or people with weak ego complexes, when fascinated or in a state of great enthusiasm. Then he can work twenty-four hours at a stretch or even longer, until he breaks down. But what he cannot do is work on a dreary, rainy morning when work is boring and one has to kick oneself into it; that is the one thing the puer aeternus usually cannot manage and will use any kind of excuse to avoid. Analysis of a puer aeternus sooner or later always comes up against this problem. It is only when the ego has become sufficiently strengthened that the problem can be overcome, and the possibility of sticking to the work is given. Naturally, though one knows the goal, every individual case is different. Personally, I have not found that it is much good just preaching to people that they should work, for they simply get angry and walk off.(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus, pages 5-6.)
As far as I have seen, the unconscious generally tries to produce a compromise - namely, to indicate the direction in which there might be some enthusiasm or where the psychological energy would flow naturally, for it is, of course, easier to train oneself to work in a direction supported by one's instinct. That is not quite so hard as working completely uphill in opposition to your own flow of energy. Therefore, it is usually advisable to wait a while, find out where the natural flow of interest and energy lies and then try to get the man to work there. But in every field of work there always comes the time when routine must be faced. All work, even creative work, contains a certain amount of boring routine, which is where the puer aeternus escapes and comes to the conclusion again that "this is not it!" In such moments, if one is supported by the unconscious, dreams generally occur which show that one should push on thorugh the obstacle. If that succeeds, then the battle is won.
The cure for the puer/puella is coming down to the earth. By voluntarily choosing to come down one avoids crashing, because that's what will happen. One way or the other, the earth will claim us. Our only choice, as is always the case, is whether we follow our destiny, wholeheartedly and with grace; or fighting against it every step of the way. In the latter case, the earth becomes a moldy tomb; a yawning, gaping maw that waits our whole lives to devour us (as it eventually will.) In the former, the earth is shelter and friend, the source of life and nourishment as well as delight. The puella spends her life looking for the thing that will make her whole, not realizing that it's the very thing that she runs away from, always runs away from; that is, the other half of her. By turning to face and embrace what we fear, we finally find our true Selves.
... Here again... he has come to the edge, to the end. He cannot go farther in the way he is now going... He felt he had come to an end and could not go on in the same way. He has one split in his psyche, a very deep one.(von Franz, Marie-Louise, Puer Aeternus, pages 136, 157-158.)
... When he has to go over the border into another country, he projects the idea that now he is going to fall into the hole in his psyche. The prison phobia is very obvious, too. He is like a bird; he never gets pinned down to earth... So the prison is the negative symbol of the mother complex (in which he sits in fact all the time), or it would be prospectively just exactly what he needs, for he needs to be put into prison - the prison of reality. But he runs away from the prison anyway, wherever he turns. He has only the choice of two prisons: either that of his neurosis or that of his reality; thus, he is caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. That is his fate, and that is the fate of the puer aeternus altogether. It is up to him which he prefers: that of his mother complex and his neurosis, or that of being caught in the just-so story of earthly reality.
When the dreamer gets further down, suddenly the heavens below solidify and look like the earth as seen from an airplane, with a quadrangular pattern of fields. It is a very positive image, for now the split is beginning to close. A difference of levels still exists, however, for between the earth above and the earth below is a very sudden change of level, such as that which often appears in the psychological geography of a dream where there are two levels and no connecting steps. Such a dreamer might switch between intellect and instinct in his way of living without any bridge between. But that would not show a very dangerous situation, since it is one that occurs frequently in the case of young people who have not yet harmonized the relationship between the two. The wound in this dreamer's psyche is healing; the earth level is rising through the fact that, by accepting, for once, an unknown situation and venturing into it, he is touching human reality for the first time - he is touching the earth upon which we live.
... It is the civilized earth and suggests work, so that one is reminded of Dr. Jung's words that work is part of the cure of the split and the difficulties of the puer - just ploughing some plot of earth, no matter which, is helpful. I remember him saying to a puer-aeternus type, "It does not matter what job you take. The point is that for once you do something thoroughly and conscientiously, whatever it is." This man insisted that if only he could find the right occupation, then he would work, but that he could not find it. Dr. Jung's answer was, "Never mind, just take the next bit of earth you can find. Plough it and plant something in it. No matter whether it is business, or teaching, or anything else, give yourself for once to that field which is ahead of you." Everybody has in front of him a field of reality where he can work if he wants to, and the childish trick of saying, "I would work if it were the right thing," is one of the many self-delusions of the puer aeternus, by which he keeps within the mother and his megalomanic identification with the god - because the gods, as you know, do not work.
... Fields would also imply limitation. That is the drawback of getting in touch with reality, because in that way one becomes limited: there are restrictions. One comes to the miserable human situation where one's hands are tied and it is not possible to do as one would like, something which is particularly disagreeable to the puer aeternus. What one produces is always miserable compared with the fantasies one had lying in bed dreaming about what one would do if one could!
Bringing it all together
Reading the last paragraph above was one of those "laugh out loud" moments, and one of the synchronicities I was talking about earlier, because just the day before I had thrown the following I-ching hexagrams.
Hexagram 60: Limitations
In a limited, human life, one achieves significance through discrimination and the setting of limits: unlimited possibilities are not suited to humans. To become strong, one needs the limitations ordained by duty and voluntarily accepted. We attain significance as a free spirit only by setting our own limits and determining for ourselves what out duty is.Hexagram 7: The Army
If you seek to impose galling limits, it would be injurious - there must be a limit on limits as well.
9 in the 5th place: The ruling line of the hexagram. Limits must be carried out in the right way, i.e. by applying limits to oneself. That way leads to success, and with success one leads by example. Galling limitation would lead to failure, but owing to the enlightened and moderate behavior of the ruler of the hexagram this danger is overcome.
Water under earth; the ground water stored up in the earth. In the same way military strength is stored up in the mass of the people - invisible in times of peace but always ready for use as a source of power - water is stored in the earth.
An army is a mass that needs organization in order to become a fighting force. Without strict discipline nothing can be accomplished, but this discipline must not be achieved by force. It requires a strong man who captures the hearts of the people and awakens their enthusiasm. In order that he may develop his abilities he needs the complete confidence of his ruler, who must entrust him with full responsibility as long as the war lasts. But war is always a dangerous thing and brings with it destruction and devastation. Therefore it should not be resorted to rashly but, like a poisonous drug, should be used as a last recourse.
Ground water is invisibly present within the earth; in the same way the military power of a people is invisibly present in the masses. When danger threatens, every peasant becomes a soldier; when the war ends, they goes back to their plow. She who is generous toward the people wins their love, and a people living under a mild rule becomes strong and powerful. Only a people economically strong can be important in military power. Such power must therefore be cultivated by improving the economic condition of the people and by humane government. Only when there is this invisible bond between government and people, so that the people are sheltered by their government as ground water is sheltered by the earth, is it possible to wage a victorious war.
This is the answer, of course; the answer to the question I hadn't even known I was asking.
Well, I kind of knew; things were coming to a head at work. As is typical for a puella I was having problems and was worried about whether or not I was even going to be able to keep my job, a never ending concern of mine for all the reasons that it's so hard for us puellas to buckle down and get to work, especially if it's boring and completely uninspiring. I had the feeling that now was the time to face the problem of living in the world. In fact, perhaps it's time to flip over the functions from intuition, my second function, and start working on my third function, sensation.
You have to do this kind of work in the right way, tho, and at the right time. All of us puellas have had the experience of telling ourselves that "this time we'll do it." Maybe there is an aspect of grace to this whole going down to the earth thing; that the unconscious itself has to support you, you can't just "decide" to do it. That would be the ego deciding for reasons of power, control or status; or not wanting to feel like a loser and a jerk again. But it can't come from the ego; it has to come from the Self. But when the Self comes knocking with a plow in one hand and a pair of overalls in the other, we can't try to shut the door in it's face. We have to answer the call when it comes.
That being said, it's important to have subtlety and act with moderation. I like how the hexagrams describe the relationship between the "general" and the "peasants;" or the ego and the vast powers of the unconscious. In the past, General Ego tried to bully and beat the peasants into working for him, but that's obviously the wrong way to go about things; the relationship between the two should be full of affection and support. A good general protects his people, cares for them, first and foremost. But caring for them doesn't mean letting them laze about, letting the crops die because they're choked by weeds, or rotting out in the fields. In that case, getting the peasants to work is actually a way of showing caring and protection, because who suffers first when there's a famine? Yes, there is a need for limits and discipline, but not galling limits or galling discipline. Discipline must be softened with generosity and strong ties of devotion and protection between leader and lead, between the ego and the energies within.
Limitation also means setting limits on the puella in other ways; it means that she's going to finally have to choose what she wants to be when she grows up and stick with it. The world is so full of fascinating, wonderful things that I tend to flit from one thing to the next, getting really involved with my current fascination and then dropping it when I find the next. Life vastly entertaining this way, but you never actually accomplish anything. The good thing is that, with Jungian psychology, I really do feel like I've figured out what I want to be when I "grow up." And, with all those years of sampling one aspect of life after the other, I can pick the few things I love best. Yes, it hurts to think of all the wonderful things I won't be doing, but if you want to actually accomplish anything by the time you die, you have to give up the good in order to achieve the best. So for me, that means - besides the things everyone has to do (unless they're independently wealthy) like keeping my home clean and beautiful, and cooking nutritious and delicious food - I will focus on sewing beautiful, unique clothing and my instant photography. And maybe I'll keep dabbling a bit in natural perfumery since I will also continue to make my own soap, shampoo, lotion, etc.
One thing that's been percolating in my mind for months, ever since I wrote about integrating the four functions, is the idea that I need to move to the third function which for me would be sensation. Von Franz writes about how cleaning is the way a woman expresses love for the physical world. My experience with G was the first step in staying in the "fiery bath" of love; I think expressing love for the physical world - and all the painfully boring, kick-oneself-out-of-bed-on-a-rainy-morning feelings that will bring up - is the next step.
Related posts
- I-ching reading: The sweet mountain
- I-ching reading: Monster mother
- Dream: Monster tentacle mother
- Tarot reading: Next steps, the Queen of Pentacles
Friday, March 16, 2012
Au revoir, demon lover... and good riddance!
I search
but the desert is everywhere;
I gasp
but there is no water to quench;
I cry
but there are no arms to enfold;
I yearn
but there is no breast to suck;
I long
but there is no milk to nourish;
I need
but there is no phallus to embrace;
I feel
only the exploitation of my friends;
I fear
that death may be the same.
I've been going through a rather earth shattering experience lately, the kind that completely changes the way you look at everything: I've come face to face with the demon lover side of my animus. Or, more appropriately, I've come to realize that's who's been acting in my life lately... And not just lately, but really my entire life.
I kept having dreams that seemed to be pointing to a change in my relationship with G (another lover, color project, shelf house), dreams where another lover makes an appearance, but I still have feelings for G and can't decide. I finally did a reading asking what I should do, if I was doing something wrong, or not doing enough. For a while before this I had decided that it would be best for both me and for G if I waited until he had the courage - or just wanted me enough (if ever) - to make a move himself. After all, he knew damn well how I felt, and he was the one who had rejected me.
Well, the reading was pretty unambiguous (or as unambiguous as a tarot reading can be). Basically, it said that I had a possible future of love and fulfillment in all areas (the 9 of cups "wish card" for the possible future and the 2 of cups for the probable future). It also said that I had had an opportunity in front of me but I had failed myself in some way. But the card that really got me to thinking was the Queen of Swords, which was in the position of the outer self.
Self-hate
Then, in the dream, the chief of police declares that the woman is crazy. That's the secret voice in her that says, whenever she follows her own feeling, "No, that's crazy! Don't do that. You are crazy if you do that."
(p. 157)
There's a voice inside women's head. We think it's us, just our "rational", "level-headed" selves but it's not. It belongs to the demon that sets up camp in us when our relationship to our inner man is crooked. An animus in his positive role is an energizing source of power and a guide to the spirit, but when he's demonic he drives others away from us... and drives us away from the love we long for. And, ironically, his rigid pronouncements are nothing more than bland, meaningless platitudes, not the truth that he declares them to be.
As with a man's relationship with his mother, our relationship with our father sets the template for our relationship with our animus:
(p. 156)
Not only does a negative relationship with her father create an image inside the woman that continually spills it's poison inside her, it also spills it's poison onto others. And it makes her expect other men to to act the same, putting her on the defensive, even when there's no need for defense.
(p. 159)
Looking back at my life, I can see - so clearly now - how this negative animus held me under it's spell. It was an incredible experience reading this chapter - it was my life she was describing! From my youth, where I couldn't even let a man touch me, to getting past that but always crashing on the rocks of my own insanity when I was in a relationship.
The incredible thing is that I've been proud of my negative animus. Being in my animus made me feel strong, and tough, like I wouldn't take any bullshit from anyone... And then I'd freak out when I damaged a relationship and had to face the consequences of my actions. Von Franz describes the negative animus as a gangster; he attacks and uses the woman as his shield. When a man strikes back at the animus, he ends up hitting the woman. That's been me, too.
My whole life I've been paralyzed by the negative talk from my animus - I'm always convinced I did something stupid, that people despise me, that I can never do anything right. THIS IS MY BLUEBEARD ANIMUS!! It isn't me - it isn't me at all!!! This revelation about who is really the source of all of these negative self thoughts by itself has made a huge difference in my life; when they start coming up, I can say "No, that's not me. Calm down, animus. Take your rightful place - not this stupid, self-destructive crap. You're better than this!"
Jealous Lover
The negative animus behaves here like a jealous lover. He wants to keep the woman for himself by cutting her off from all men. When she has some loving feelings toward any man, then up comes this "You should not do that" animus. Or it's projected.
(p. 158)
He doesn't just cut us off from romantic love - he'll try to interfere with any relationship - but love lights a jet under his butt so he's hopping around your head, making you think you're a complete idiot. And the more you like someone, the more vicious he gets. Which was why I never let myself like anyone... or if I did I'd squash those feelings right away. After all, I was an idiot and a jerk and too crazy to have a relationship with anybody, right?
(p. 158)
But it doesn't matter if you don't have a real relationship with an actual man... Demon Lover will be the perfect lover; reliable, well muscled, sensitive when you need it, and great in bed to boot! (Too bad he only exists in your fevered imagination.)
One of the dreams that made me start questioning things was when a "new lover" showed up, one that was going to be more reliable than G. And the animus is reliable... and reliable at cutting you off from real relationships. Or being the person you're supposed to be. Or growing, which means relating to others, not running away from them to live a perfect life with the perfect lover in your imagination.
He's also made his appearance in previous dreams - for example, I went back to this one by accident and read it in a completely different way this time (the edit where I change my interpretation is all the way at the bottom.)
Wisdom
There is a great psychological danger in the figures which Jung called animus and anima. These contrasexual elements can estrange a human being completely from reality and society. The animus, like the anima, is a very ambiguous, very dangerous inner figure which must be approached with great wisdom.
(p. 165)
So what do we do? Let's not let the negative animus make any of it's blanket pronouncements. Sometimes you have to run away. In my case, I was informed (in my dream) that I needed to talk with him. My first impulse was to fight him, but I guess talking is the best way for me right now. Below, von Franz talks about one way of dealing with the destructive animus:
This is just one way of dealing with the animus but, as in all relationships, there are no rules in our relationship with our inner man. Sometimes we have to do run away from him, sometimes the complete opposite. All we can do, as with any relationship, is to try to be present and do what comes up naturally, from the depths of our being.
The consequences of having a bad relationship with our animus can range from a lack of energy and drive, being a doormat, to being a shrill, angry shrew. But on the other side, a healthy relationship with our animus gives a woman strength and drive, the ability to think clearly, but with tolerance. Last night I did another reading - it was about a dream I'd had but the answer that came up was about the animus. I was trying to figure out what the reading was about, wondering if the King of Cups card was about G again, when I realized it was about my animus.
* A bright shadow is the opposite of a dark shadow. Where the dark shadow is made up of the undesirable parts of yourself that you project onto the people you find repulsive, your bright shadow is made up of the desired parts of yourself that are equally invisible to you that you project onto the people you are attracted to.
Note: All quotes come from Fraser Boa's Conversations on Jungian Dream Interpretation with Marie-Louise von Franz, including the poem that starts the post.
but the desert is everywhere;
I gasp
but there is no water to quench;
I cry
but there are no arms to enfold;
I yearn
but there is no breast to suck;
I long
but there is no milk to nourish;
I need
but there is no phallus to embrace;
I feel
only the exploitation of my friends;
I fear
that death may be the same.
I've been going through a rather earth shattering experience lately, the kind that completely changes the way you look at everything: I've come face to face with the demon lover side of my animus. Or, more appropriately, I've come to realize that's who's been acting in my life lately... And not just lately, but really my entire life.
I kept having dreams that seemed to be pointing to a change in my relationship with G (another lover, color project, shelf house), dreams where another lover makes an appearance, but I still have feelings for G and can't decide. I finally did a reading asking what I should do, if I was doing something wrong, or not doing enough. For a while before this I had decided that it would be best for both me and for G if I waited until he had the courage - or just wanted me enough (if ever) - to make a move himself. After all, he knew damn well how I felt, and he was the one who had rejected me.
Well, the reading was pretty unambiguous (or as unambiguous as a tarot reading can be). Basically, it said that I had a possible future of love and fulfillment in all areas (the 9 of cups "wish card" for the possible future and the 2 of cups for the probable future). It also said that I had had an opportunity in front of me but I had failed myself in some way. But the card that really got me to thinking was the Queen of Swords, which was in the position of the outer self.
... She never shows her emotional side, but her judgment can sometimes be swayed by her heart... The negative side of the Queen of Swords stems in part from her honesty and desire for the truth. Once she has a view of the situation she lets everyone involved know her opinion, and heaven help them if they disagree! Her mind is as sharp as a razor and when it is not occupied slicing away lies, it will start to cut the perceived liars. This type of person often has very few friends, and they are often depressed and unsatisfied with themselves because they cannot live up to their own high standards. The Queen of Swords often uses her dry and vicious humor to keep others from seeing her bitterness and her dissatisfaction.And then I got the cosmic 2x4 over the head - another one of those groan-out-loud moments - when I read the chapter titled "The Tyrant" in Fraser Boa's Conversations on Jungian Dream Interpretation with Marie-Louise von Franz. The book is based on a documentary series (this post begins with a poem from the book). The chapter starts:
In its negative form a woman's inner man, the animus, is a power of evil destructive to human life. He separates a woman from her own femininity. He cuts her off from human warmth and kindness, and leaves her isolated in a meaningless world, martyred by unseen hands. She experiences herself as a victim, a captive, trapped either by external circumstance or by a cruel fate.... And that was just the first 2x4. The whole chapter was basically the universe beating me over the head with a large stick, trying to get me see what was going on.
Self-hate
Then, in the dream, the chief of police declares that the woman is crazy. That's the secret voice in her that says, whenever she follows her own feeling, "No, that's crazy! Don't do that. You are crazy if you do that."
(p. 157)
That's the negative animus. Those collective opinions rape the woman of her own individual thoughts or feeling reactions.(p. 163)
For instance, when I have indulged in destructive thoughts about myself or my work, I have often dreamt of being pursued by hostile men. The dream is saying, "Those negative thoughts are not you. They are the hostile animi in you. You should run away from those destructive thoughts. They will destroy you if you stay with them."
There's a voice inside women's head. We think it's us, just our "rational", "level-headed" selves but it's not. It belongs to the demon that sets up camp in us when our relationship to our inner man is crooked. An animus in his positive role is an energizing source of power and a guide to the spirit, but when he's demonic he drives others away from us... and drives us away from the love we long for. And, ironically, his rigid pronouncements are nothing more than bland, meaningless platitudes, not the truth that he declares them to be.
As with a man's relationship with his mother, our relationship with our father sets the template for our relationship with our animus:
If the relationship to the father constellates itself negatively, the girl will react negatively toward the father... later on she generally has dificulties with men, and difficulties in finding her own masculine side. In the extreme case she might not be able to approach men at all... If it is not such an extreme case, she would be what one would call a very difficult woman. She would argue with men, challenge them, criticize them, and try to pull them down. She would expect negativity from them, and this expectation would naturally put difficulties on her partner.
In other words, the animus, her own masculinity, would be a problem to her. Such a woman would tend to behave toward herself as her father behaved toward her. If her father was tyrannical, even after his death, the woman would still tyrannize herself with ideas and opinions which came from the father image. And so a girl's relationship to her father and her detachment from the father always play a big role in her development as a woman.
(p. 156)
Not only does a negative relationship with her father create an image inside the woman that continually spills it's poison inside her, it also spills it's poison onto others. And it makes her expect other men to to act the same, putting her on the defensive, even when there's no need for defense.
[T]he worst thing is that she experiences it as if she thinks it herself... That's one of the great difficulties in analytical work: to make women distinguish between what they really think themselves and what it thinks in them.
The problem is that they think animus thoughts are their own. Even after working for years on that, I sometimes still have negative thoughts against myself, and if you asked me at that moment, I would say, "Yes, that's what I think about myself." Later, I would have a dream of a man raping me, and realize, "No, that was an evil animus in me who thought that." And then I could disidentify and wonder, "Why on earth did I ever think that about myself? Naturally, I don't think that." But you see, that is the essence of what one calls possession. When a woman is possessed by the animus, she thinks that the animus is herself. Only when, or if, she wakes up does she come to realize, "No, that's not me."
(p. 159)
Looking back at my life, I can see - so clearly now - how this negative animus held me under it's spell. It was an incredible experience reading this chapter - it was my life she was describing! From my youth, where I couldn't even let a man touch me, to getting past that but always crashing on the rocks of my own insanity when I was in a relationship.
The incredible thing is that I've been proud of my negative animus. Being in my animus made me feel strong, and tough, like I wouldn't take any bullshit from anyone... And then I'd freak out when I damaged a relationship and had to face the consequences of my actions. Von Franz describes the negative animus as a gangster; he attacks and uses the woman as his shield. When a man strikes back at the animus, he ends up hitting the woman. That's been me, too.
My whole life I've been paralyzed by the negative talk from my animus - I'm always convinced I did something stupid, that people despise me, that I can never do anything right. THIS IS MY BLUEBEARD ANIMUS!! It isn't me - it isn't me at all!!! This revelation about who is really the source of all of these negative self thoughts by itself has made a huge difference in my life; when they start coming up, I can say "No, that's not me. Calm down, animus. Take your rightful place - not this stupid, self-destructive crap. You're better than this!"
Jealous Lover
The negative animus behaves here like a jealous lover. He wants to keep the woman for himself by cutting her off from all men. When she has some loving feelings toward any man, then up comes this "You should not do that" animus. Or it's projected.
(p. 158)
He doesn't just cut us off from romantic love - he'll try to interfere with any relationship - but love lights a jet under his butt so he's hopping around your head, making you think you're a complete idiot. And the more you like someone, the more vicious he gets. Which was why I never let myself like anyone... or if I did I'd squash those feelings right away. After all, I was an idiot and a jerk and too crazy to have a relationship with anybody, right?
That is the greatest tragedy arising from the negative animus. It flares up with its power whenever a woman loves. It tries to cut women off from any kind of relationship by belittling it or calling it crazy. The negative animus mainly manifests itself as an opinionated resistance to any feelings of love. If a woman has a tendency to fall in love or even to be interested in a man, her negative animus comes up and makes her ruin the relationship.
Subjectively, she doesn't know what is happening. She thinks she is under a curse. Just when she wants to talk to the man she loves, something in her makes a tearful scene. And then she goes home and cries. She may project and say, "He was so nasty to me," but if she's a bit more honest she will say, "I wanted to have a good love relationship with him, and just because I wanted the relationship I made a scene." And she doesn't know what devil's mechanism made her do it. If a woman hits you as a man, you can be sure she's interested in you. She would really like to love you, but she doesn't know how.
(p. 158)
But it doesn't matter if you don't have a real relationship with an actual man... Demon Lover will be the perfect lover; reliable, well muscled, sensitive when you need it, and great in bed to boot! (Too bad he only exists in your fevered imagination.)
What Marilyn Monroe was to men, Valentino was to women. He represented the ideal demon lover, who would carry the woman away into a romantic ecstasy where she could create fantasies about the Sheik. Of course, being carried away by the demon lover into a romantic us-two-aloneness goes on in modern films as well. Generally if women are unhappy in their relationships with their husbands or their lovers, they dream and fantasize about being carried away and having a secret, nocturnal love affair with their animus.(p. 165)
The demon lover figure exerts a kind of demonic or divine fascination on the woman and makes her incapable of relating to an ordinary human being. He is personified as Heathcliff in Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights. In the novel, Bronte shows the power of the identification by having her heroine say, "I don't love Heathcliff... I am Heathcliff." It's interesting that Emily Bronte herself even had the idea that her genius, her great gift as a writer, had made her into a lonely, tragic figure. Generally, having such a demon lover ends tragically. People become incapable of living and relating to others; they are sucked away into the dream world and into the unconscious.
One of the dreams that made me start questioning things was when a "new lover" showed up, one that was going to be more reliable than G. And the animus is reliable... and reliable at cutting you off from real relationships. Or being the person you're supposed to be. Or growing, which means relating to others, not running away from them to live a perfect life with the perfect lover in your imagination.
He's also made his appearance in previous dreams - for example, I went back to this one by accident and read it in a completely different way this time (the edit where I change my interpretation is all the way at the bottom.)
Wisdom
There is a great psychological danger in the figures which Jung called animus and anima. These contrasexual elements can estrange a human being completely from reality and society. The animus, like the anima, is a very ambiguous, very dangerous inner figure which must be approached with great wisdom.
(p. 165)
So what do we do? Let's not let the negative animus make any of it's blanket pronouncements. Sometimes you have to run away. In my case, I was informed (in my dream) that I needed to talk with him. My first impulse was to fight him, but I guess talking is the best way for me right now. Below, von Franz talks about one way of dealing with the destructive animus:
The classical example of the destructive animus, which the women has at all costs to escape, is illustrated in the famous fairy tale of Bluebeard, in which the heroine gets into a castle where she secretly discovers that the owner has cut up and slaughtered all his former wives. After discovering this terrible secret she, with the help of her brothers, barely manages to escape. Bluebeard is the classical image of the destructive animus. If a woman cannot escape the self-destructive and self-annihilating thoughts of the negative animus, it may lead to a severe psychological disturbance. Women who can't escape their Bluebeard generally become isolated, bitter women whom men cannot love, who find no partners, and how live in bitter isolation, if not in an even worse situation.(p. 164)
This is just one way of dealing with the animus but, as in all relationships, there are no rules in our relationship with our inner man. Sometimes we have to do run away from him, sometimes the complete opposite. All we can do, as with any relationship, is to try to be present and do what comes up naturally, from the depths of our being.
The consequences of having a bad relationship with our animus can range from a lack of energy and drive, being a doormat, to being a shrill, angry shrew. But on the other side, a healthy relationship with our animus gives a woman strength and drive, the ability to think clearly, but with tolerance. Last night I did another reading - it was about a dream I'd had but the answer that came up was about the animus. I was trying to figure out what the reading was about, wondering if the King of Cups card was about G again, when I realized it was about my animus.
Usually a man of art or religion, the King of Cups appears as a wise advisor and a noble healer. He listens to the suggestions of others, even when they are in conflict with his own carefully formed opinions. He never judges, never blames others for their faults, and is always a sympathetic supporter.When I read this I was so moved by the vision of what he could be. And I remembered that when I was projecting my "bright shadow*" onto love interests, this was exactly the kind of man I was attracted to. I knew G wasn't a mere projection of my desired but unavailable traits because... well, because he's not that kind of man at all. And I no longer feel drawn to those kind of men, probably because I'd withdrawn those projections. But now, after this experience with the negative animus, and seeing what he can be, I realize that what I was drawn to wasn't just the things I felt I didn't have. It was the things I do have, as my animus. Now I have to work at freeing him from the role of the Demon Lover so that he can finally be who he's meant to be; the calm and powerful King of Cups.
The appearance of the King is often a sign that you should employ peace and tolerance to solve your problems. Use diplomacy rather than force, and accept different points of view. Do not blame others for their failures, but help them see how they can succeed again.
* A bright shadow is the opposite of a dark shadow. Where the dark shadow is made up of the undesirable parts of yourself that you project onto the people you find repulsive, your bright shadow is made up of the desired parts of yourself that are equally invisible to you that you project onto the people you are attracted to.
Note: All quotes come from Fraser Boa's Conversations on Jungian Dream Interpretation with Marie-Louise von Franz, including the poem that starts the post.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Musings: von Franz's "Alchemy"... and further on the pin
The stories of Eve and of Isis getting secret knowledge from angels, is a man's view of growth. Eve is the Anima who steals knowledge from God (the Self). As a result, a man's unconscious paradise is lost and now he has to do all the hard, painful work of psychological growth. Or the story of Isis who, as his Anima, coerces the secret from the Angels and gives it to her Son (the man.) But what is a woman's story? Where are the stories of an Animus, the woman's mediator between her and God/Self? How do women gain secret knowledge? Or is it even knowledge that she gains? Prometheus steals fire from the Gods and therefore must suffer every day while his liver is eaten... and every night it heals. Is this the image of a woman's Animus? But it's not knowledge her Animus steals. Rather it's fire; power, energy and vitality; the light which illuminates the darkness and reveals what was hidden. As a result a woman's Animus is wounded during the day but is healed at night, when dreams come.
Another is the story of Inanna going into the Underworld, the land of her dark sister, Ereshkigal. Enki (the god of mischief, water, intelligence and creation) sends two little people he makes from the dirt under his fingernails to mourn her as she hangs on the meat hook. When she returns to her world above she has to choose someone to take her place. She picks her consort, Dumuzi, who was the only person who didn't mourn her death, but his sister loved him so much that she offered to take his place so half the year she's in the Underworld and the other half Dumuzi is. What is the woman's Animus providing here? Sympathy, from Enki? A sacrifice, from Dumuzi, to suffer in her place (which calls to mind Prometheus' suffering during the light half of a day.)
Persephone was abducted by Hades, also of the Underworld. She doesn't want to go but she must if she's to find her power as a Queen. Here the Animus is the Demon Lover who kidnaps the woman to Death (in other words, he kills her old self.) Unlike Inanna here the woman is dragged kicking and screaming to her death, her transformation, in which she must give up her old self in order to be reborn to a greater, more whole and more powerful self. Here the Animus is the abductor, or Death himself. The woman resists her transformation initially. It is only by choosing Hades/her Animus/her transformation, giving up her old self, that she grows (because I made the choice, my Hades abduction is psychological rather than literal - my growth is through us *not* having a relationship.)
"[Y]ou wonder whether you should stick a pin in him and a drop of the poison of knowledge and give him an idea as to what it really means..." (von Franz, writing about whether an increase in consciousness is good or not in "Alchemy" p. 54.)
My dream of the dark man sticking a pin into my "other self" - the "dark man" is obviously my Animus in his role as the destroyer, the demon lover, Hades, Death. He sticks a pin in her and brushes the powder of knowledge - that is, of his own essence (the essence of the Self?) and that destroys the old me, the "other me," the one who must die in order for the new me to be born. He wants to unite sexually with me; he brushes his consciousness onto me to do so. By being covered with his essence does he unite with the me that's being born?
Another is the story of Inanna going into the Underworld, the land of her dark sister, Ereshkigal. Enki (the god of mischief, water, intelligence and creation) sends two little people he makes from the dirt under his fingernails to mourn her as she hangs on the meat hook. When she returns to her world above she has to choose someone to take her place. She picks her consort, Dumuzi, who was the only person who didn't mourn her death, but his sister loved him so much that she offered to take his place so half the year she's in the Underworld and the other half Dumuzi is. What is the woman's Animus providing here? Sympathy, from Enki? A sacrifice, from Dumuzi, to suffer in her place (which calls to mind Prometheus' suffering during the light half of a day.)
Persephone was abducted by Hades, also of the Underworld. She doesn't want to go but she must if she's to find her power as a Queen. Here the Animus is the Demon Lover who kidnaps the woman to Death (in other words, he kills her old self.) Unlike Inanna here the woman is dragged kicking and screaming to her death, her transformation, in which she must give up her old self in order to be reborn to a greater, more whole and more powerful self. Here the Animus is the abductor, or Death himself. The woman resists her transformation initially. It is only by choosing Hades/her Animus/her transformation, giving up her old self, that she grows (because I made the choice, my Hades abduction is psychological rather than literal - my growth is through us *not* having a relationship.)
"[Y]ou wonder whether you should stick a pin in him and a drop of the poison of knowledge and give him an idea as to what it really means..." (von Franz, writing about whether an increase in consciousness is good or not in "Alchemy" p. 54.)
My dream of the dark man sticking a pin into my "other self" - the "dark man" is obviously my Animus in his role as the destroyer, the demon lover, Hades, Death. He sticks a pin in her and brushes the powder of knowledge - that is, of his own essence (the essence of the Self?) and that destroys the old me, the "other me," the one who must die in order for the new me to be born. He wants to unite sexually with me; he brushes his consciousness onto me to do so. By being covered with his essence does he unite with the me that's being born?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Thoughts on the animus/anima
I always thought the animus (or anima, if you're a man) was the archetype of the opposite sex that you expressed the most. Now I wonder...
It just doesn't make sense that our animus would be so completely non-existent in our inner world. And now that I think of it, when I read romances, this is the kind of story I'm the most drawn to. Although I can appreciate any well written story that has engaging characters, it's stories about weak, diffuse, lost women and chthonic men that I find the most compelling. So, like everything else in our lives, our reading habits can help us understand what's going on inside us.
... One further note: For someone who used to read, and watch movies, as much as I did, I'm finding it almost impossible to do so now. It might be because I'm finally living what I used to read about, but I don't think that's actually it. My Persephone has a very strong will - I used to think she (and I) was lazy, or incapable of getting work done. I realize it's because she needed to find her true work, her life's labor. And now that she's found it, she isn't interested in anything else. If I could do this from the time I woke up to the time I collapsed into bed, I think it wouldn't be enough for her.
I'm not sure how long this is going to last. While I struggle to get my basic needs done (like cleaning my apartment... or keeping my job!) it's exciting to have all this energy and focus.
Also... if I'm right and this is the case, then gay people would be "double souled" - they have both a male and female archetype... and matching animus/anima's. Pretty busy in there!
I figured my animus was Hermes because I have several Hermes-like traits, even though I feel nothing for him and he never appears in any active visualizations. By contrast, I have done a LOT of work with my inner Hades (who has a deep connection to my archetype, Persephone). So now I'm thinking... maybe our animus is actually the archetype, or archetypes, that our own archetype matches with romantically? Which would make sense, as those are the people with whom we can do the most spiritual work, and grow the most with. Perhaps we seek a romantic partner who is a manifestation of that inner animus to carry on the work with on a different level.
It just doesn't make sense that our animus would be so completely non-existent in our inner world. And now that I think of it, when I read romances, this is the kind of story I'm the most drawn to. Although I can appreciate any well written story that has engaging characters, it's stories about weak, diffuse, lost women and chthonic men that I find the most compelling. So, like everything else in our lives, our reading habits can help us understand what's going on inside us.
... One further note: For someone who used to read, and watch movies, as much as I did, I'm finding it almost impossible to do so now. It might be because I'm finally living what I used to read about, but I don't think that's actually it. My Persephone has a very strong will - I used to think she (and I) was lazy, or incapable of getting work done. I realize it's because she needed to find her true work, her life's labor. And now that she's found it, she isn't interested in anything else. If I could do this from the time I woke up to the time I collapsed into bed, I think it wouldn't be enough for her.
I'm not sure how long this is going to last. While I struggle to get my basic needs done (like cleaning my apartment... or keeping my job!) it's exciting to have all this energy and focus.
Also... if I'm right and this is the case, then gay people would be "double souled" - they have both a male and female archetype... and matching animus/anima's. Pretty busy in there!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
One random Persephone thing... I think
I've also become obsessed with these sugar free Altoid Smalls, these teeny but REALLY STRONG peppermints.
One of the rare times Hades' eye roved involved the nymph Minthe. Persephone crushed her underfoot and turned her into the mint plant.
... Any possible connection? Hmmmm...
One of the rare times Hades' eye roved involved the nymph Minthe. Persephone crushed her underfoot and turned her into the mint plant.
... Any possible connection? Hmmmm...
On feelng derrrrr
I've always been articulate. Words always came easily to me, and I could express myself verbally or, even more, in writing. It felt like water flowing from my brain to my hands and out to whatever I was writing with. But lately I've really been struggling with putting things into words - to the point where I'm remembering all the signs of Alzheimer's and becoming worried. But it just occurred to me - maybe this is a part of Hecate losing her place as the main archetype I relied on and Persephone becoming more dominant?
Persephone is often characterized by her difficulty with the world of the mind - while I still love science, I'm not as absorbed while listening to science podcasts... and I'm really struggling with reading about it. I'm also finding that I express myself more in metaphors while, at the same time, I'm really struggling to find exact vocabulary words. Goddess Power talks about this in her description of Persephone:
Persephone is often characterized by her difficulty with the world of the mind - while I still love science, I'm not as absorbed while listening to science podcasts... and I'm really struggling with reading about it. I'm also finding that I express myself more in metaphors while, at the same time, I'm really struggling to find exact vocabulary words. Goddess Power talks about this in her description of Persephone:
Musing and intuitive nature rather than intellectual mind - difficulty ‘explaining’ her reasoning as it is an intuitive perception.
Persephone type has difficulty discriminating and has difficulty putting her impressions into words.
At the same time, she's very comfortable in the spiritual realm:
Keen ability to cross over into other realms of psychic consciousness - very at home in the world beyond the physical sensesStrong connection to spirit - deep ambivalence toward outer world & her sense of being misunderstood & alienated from conventional society
When I first read this I felt this was completely different from who I was, but it's a pretty accurate description of who I am becoming. When I first started working with archetypes, not only was Persephone incredibly young (like 10 years old), she was completely silent. Almost non-existent! I didn't even recognize her as one of my archetypes until I took Goddess Power's quiz, let alone know she was my primary archetype! And now she's so powerful she's changing my personality... She's grown so much!
So maybe I'm not going senile! I'm just becoming more Persephone. Which is fine - if I had to choose between the personal growth I've gained, or the ability to express myself clearly and with ease, I'd definitely go for the former!
Friday, July 8, 2011
The difference between fantasies and visions
I haven't been talking with any of the archetypes lately. At the same time, I've been fantasizing about the future of this possible relationship with Mr. Hades, like, non-stop! And last night I realized something - there's something not right here.
It was really hard to stop, the fantasies were so compulsive! But I would stop and try to envision Mr. Hades at that moment and what he was maybe doing at that time, and there was a qualitative difference. When I was immersed in my fantasy life with him, it felt more like when I fantasize about books I'm reading. There was an unreality to it that differs from my visions of talking with my archetypes - then, they really feel there. This must be why really great writing has a life and spirit to it, while Mary Sue's are so freaking BORING - it's because they're dead.
When I was fantasizing about this wonderful life we could have, I wasn't actually with him, while when I was wondering about what he was doing, I was. Even if I wasn't with him in body, my mind was with Mr. Hades the man, and not my fantasy about what he's going to do for me and make me feel. It didn't matter if I was thinking about what he's doing right now, or remembering an exchange we had, it felt more like I was with him, because I was thinking about him. Also, I noticed that I tended to avoid remembering our experiences because I felt a little uncomfortable when we were together (and hence, not very conducive to perfect fantasies.) When I stopped fantasizing and started musing, I realized that the discomfort and the feeling of disconnection I had while with him came from the suppression of Pesephone's feelings of needing to please Mr. Hades and get him to like her. THEN all those wonderful, suffocating feelings of dread came flooding in and I had to deal with that for a while. Seriously, for a while there it felt so bad I was almost afraid I was going to have problems breathing - it was like a great, huge weight on my chest. When it was over, there was still some left - I guess the normal amount one feels when starting a relationship.
You can't avoid feeling all of these scary feelings when you really relate with people... especially romantically. Every kind of relationship will, on occasion, bring up feelings and issues but romance is like the flaming hot crucible of personal growth. All the pain and fear and feelings of inferiority and panic that live waaaaay down in your own inner Marianas Trench come pouring out of the depths. Whoo-boy.
Had a little experience with Persephone, who's shaken up and just wants a very large pizza (with pepperoni!) She's pretty young right now, and a little weepy and vulnerable. I just put my arm over her little shoulders and told her everything was going to be ok - its ok to feel this way. Just feel what you feel. You don't have to feel or be anything different. Even if he decides he doesn't like you (and, seriously, how likely do you think that is, hmm, Persephone?) you'll be ok.
But you know he likes you. And that he's probably "the one," so let's go get that pepperoni pizza and stuff our face!
It was really hard to stop, the fantasies were so compulsive! But I would stop and try to envision Mr. Hades at that moment and what he was maybe doing at that time, and there was a qualitative difference. When I was immersed in my fantasy life with him, it felt more like when I fantasize about books I'm reading. There was an unreality to it that differs from my visions of talking with my archetypes - then, they really feel there. This must be why really great writing has a life and spirit to it, while Mary Sue's are so freaking BORING - it's because they're dead.
When I was fantasizing about this wonderful life we could have, I wasn't actually with him, while when I was wondering about what he was doing, I was. Even if I wasn't with him in body, my mind was with Mr. Hades the man, and not my fantasy about what he's going to do for me and make me feel. It didn't matter if I was thinking about what he's doing right now, or remembering an exchange we had, it felt more like I was with him, because I was thinking about him. Also, I noticed that I tended to avoid remembering our experiences because I felt a little uncomfortable when we were together (and hence, not very conducive to perfect fantasies.) When I stopped fantasizing and started musing, I realized that the discomfort and the feeling of disconnection I had while with him came from the suppression of Pesephone's feelings of needing to please Mr. Hades and get him to like her. THEN all those wonderful, suffocating feelings of dread came flooding in and I had to deal with that for a while. Seriously, for a while there it felt so bad I was almost afraid I was going to have problems breathing - it was like a great, huge weight on my chest. When it was over, there was still some left - I guess the normal amount one feels when starting a relationship.
You can't avoid feeling all of these scary feelings when you really relate with people... especially romantically. Every kind of relationship will, on occasion, bring up feelings and issues but romance is like the flaming hot crucible of personal growth. All the pain and fear and feelings of inferiority and panic that live waaaaay down in your own inner Marianas Trench come pouring out of the depths. Whoo-boy.
Had a little experience with Persephone, who's shaken up and just wants a very large pizza (with pepperoni!) She's pretty young right now, and a little weepy and vulnerable. I just put my arm over her little shoulders and told her everything was going to be ok - its ok to feel this way. Just feel what you feel. You don't have to feel or be anything different. Even if he decides he doesn't like you (and, seriously, how likely do you think that is, hmm, Persephone?) you'll be ok.
But you know he likes you. And that he's probably "the one," so let's go get that pepperoni pizza and stuff our face!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Persephone archetype: a deeper look
Persephone possesses an introverted temperament (polar opposite to Hera) with issues of inner world control/ power--she represents the goddess of the underworld--concerned with the world of spirit, the occult, matters associated with death. She is mystical, visionary and often possesses spirit guides. Her awareness is diffuse. Persephone belongs to the relationship-oriented ‘vulnerable’ goddess category having a very close relationship with her mother, Demeter. Another aspect of her vulnerability, Persephone was abducted, taken to the Underworld and raped by Hades. Her mother, Demeter mourned, sorrowfully, in the face of her abduction.
Persephone is said to have a younger counterpart to herself--Kore--another name for the young Persephone. Psychologically, this may be a representation of two or three levels of this archetype: Kore, the Maiden, Persephone (or Demeter), the mature Woman, and Hecate, the Wise Crone.
Persephone type woman is more attracted to the spiritual nature rather than the physicality of her partner. She may unconsciously attract destructive relationships or potentially controlling partners. As an unconscious protective measure, she may choose a safe alternative in a younger, non-threatening partner whom she can mother.
The ancient Olympian Goddesses - a deeper look
Persephone - represents the feminine archetype of the mediumistic mystic, connected with the spirit-world. She is also the archetypal child--radiating optimism and good hope.
Mythological history:
Kore, daughter of Demeter, was the maiden aspect of Persephone. Kore, the maiden, was abducted (at the suggestion of Zeus) and raped by Hades and forced to be his wife. In the myth of Persephone, young Kore was plucking flowers in a field when Hades, her uncle and god of the Underworld, abducted her to be his Queen in the dark world below. The goddess, Hecate, strongly associated with the dark side of the moon and with witchcraft - was the only one to witness Kore’s abduction. She hears Persephone’s cries but does nothing, herself, to help and, furthermore, does not seek help from others.
Kore was extremely unhappy in the darkness of the Underworld. She also missed her mother, Demeter, terribly, as they had such a close mother-daughter bond. Kore was ultimately allowed to rejoin her mother, who had arranged Persephone’s release. However, Persephone was obligated to return each Fall to spend four months of each year in the underworld as consort to Hades because she had eaten four pomegranate seeds. It is thought that Kore as ‘maiden’, Demeter as ‘mother’ and Hecate as ‘wise crone’ represent, in more ancient times, the three-fold nature of Persephone in the various life cycles of a woman.
Psychologically Persephone is immersed in the collective unconscious--absorbed & molded by it. She acts out those “unacceptable” aspects in her environment, which others will not acknowledge--therefore, she activates that which others perceived as dangerous--and this becomes her personal problem. Persephone functions as seer, medicine woman. She belongs to the category of ‘vulnerable goddess’ - suffering pain in relationship--humiliation by abduction and rape. Her consciousness is diffuse, taking in all, rather than focused.
* To the Romans Persephone was known as Proserpine.
* Typically, Persephone woman possesses a youthful face at any age.
* She is a pleaser type whose tendency is not inclined toward assertive directness.
* Her nature--sympathetic, highly tuned into people’s feelings and needs
* She is responsiveness to the needs of others - has difficulty saying ‘no’ --difficulty recognizing and asserting her own boundaries.
* Directionally unsure, lacking solidity of purpose possessed by her virgin goddess sisters
* Musing and intuitive nature rather than intellectual mind - difficulty ‘explaining’ her reasoning as it is an intuitive perception.
* Less at ease with/in her body & sexuality than other goddess types
* Strong connection to spirit - deep ambivalence toward outer world & her sense of being misunderstood & alienated from conventional society
* A primarily Persephone type, keenly sensitive, typically possesses a fragile ego structure, therefore, easily overwhelmed by feelings and impressions from her unconscious
* Persephone type has difficulty discriminating and has difficulty putting her impressions into words.
* Keen ability to cross over into other realms of psychic consciousness - very at home in the world beyond the physical senses
* Attracted to metaphysics, healing, intuitive, service-oriented work
* By nature she is reclusive/retreating, secretive, possessing a sensitive system requiring time away from external stimulation.
* “Underworld” understood as ‘unconscious’--then, Persephone has been abducted to the ‘unconscious’--to deal with aspects of her own personal unconscious material and also the collective unconscious.
* She experiences episodes of depression, and/or bouts of mysterious, difficult to diagnose illnesses.
* A primarily Persephone type is not promiscuous. She may be unwittingly drawn to partners that attempt to dominate/control her. As a protection she may shift to much younger lovers whom she can mother and with whom she can feel safe.
Challenges facing Persephone
o Persephone (Kore) was forced to live in the Underworld for part of the year. Persephone woman is, likewise, required to acknowledge and visit her own inner underworld--her Dark side - the consequence of this avoidance is exposure to considerable suffering:
+ prone to attracting people with severe problems or possibly abusive behaviors
+ prone to mysterious illnesses difficult to diagnose or treat
+ sense of deep alienation, isolation, depression
o Indicators that Persephone woman has not sufficiently completed her ‘Hades’ decent:
+ ever-youthful ‘facial mask’ that defies her actual age by mid life
+ she may tend to wear her hair long and loose in young-girl fashion even into mid life
+ she tends toward flowery, or girlish clothing - having not yet matured her sense of self into the Mother/Crone aspects of this goddess
Persephone’s task
Persephone’s task is to return to the Mother--return to the mature goddess who now knows separation, sexuality and death. In fact, the two goddesses are one - in fact, they are three: the maiden, the Mother and the wise Crone. The cycle of life and death need to be embraced - dualities such as light and dark. When Persephone woman attempts to blot out/deny the awareness of her dark side: anger, rage--she remains the uncompleted maiden. The mature Persephone who has returned from her underworld journey has seen all; she unites birth and death within herself. She has become the wise woman, cheerful, however also having accessed her repressed rage, still retaining her youthfulness as an elder, mature woman.
Persephone’s dark side
The archetypal victim - whereby she feels powerless in the midst of her circumstances - or long-sufferer/martyr - “surviving” on sympathy of others -- and, the flip side -- Hecate - the witch & killer - the one who ignored Persephone’s cries -- unconscious, repressed rage which is projected onto others
Persephone’s wound
A woman overly identified with the Persephone archetype will find herself repeatedly attracted to situations, people or health issues that diminish her sense of personal power. These situations/events do not appear to be her own doing--they seem to happen to her, out of the blue. Yet, she seems strongly drawn to these happenings, again and again and cause her repeated grief.
Persephone’s task
o uniting the dark and the light sides of the goddess within herself - by increasingly embracing the long-suffering victim/martyr into her conscious awareness. Addressing her issue regarding power. Willingness to look into the face of this suffering and understanding her relation to it--not from a place of blame, rather, empowerment. Recognizing that such a strong attachment to the Light castes a very dark shadow.
o Persephone must renounce her maiden self (the lovely, nice, gentle persona with it’s lofty ideals and attachment to ‘innocence’, and to renounce her helplessness)- allowing it’s death - as she descends to meet with Hades - and, eventually, emerging as the Woman-- in recognition of her power that she, now, accepts - no longer projecting this power onto others.
Persephone’s gifts
Her receptivity, intuition, empathy toward the suffering of others, her keen powers of imagination, inspiration, ability to read the hearts and minds of others. Persephone, once matured through her own inner work, is the guide to the Underworld
Persephone’s personality
o As a child & adolescent:
+ Quiet, unassuming, compliant, eager to please - similar to a willow - will tend to bend along with the circumstances or in relation to stronger personalities around her
+ Introverted, imaginative, often lives in her ‘own little world’ of make-believe, perhaps as a strategy to escape the unpleasantness she experiences in her family environment
+ She often prefers playing alone, by herself.
+ She enjoys her solitude, a Persephone child may be found daydreaming, listening to music.
+ Unsure of her preferences, difficulty making decisions
+ Persephone child is often the family “problem” child or scape-goat because her sensitivities do not conform to family norms.
+ Persephone child often faces trauma in childhood, emotional and/or physical.
o As a mature woman:
+ The mature Persephone has grappled with the maiden, Kore, aspect of her nature. She is learning to ‘tell her truth’ - rather than avoiding and/or lying to others in fear of displeasing them. She is learning to set healthy boundaries--saying ‘no’, rather than acting in manipulative, indirect or blaming ways to meet her needs--avoiding conflict.
+ The mature Persephone is learning to take care of herself, learning to meet her own needs, responsibly, as she understands, now, how she has blamed others in the past.
+ The mature Persephone is developing a conscious relationship with her ‘inner male’, in Jungian terms, her animus, which means, developing her assertive/action nature.
+ The mature Persephone finds value and meaning in spiritual ritual.
+ The mature Persephone who has undergone her transformative experience in Hades is, now, equipped to guide others in their descent into the underworld. She is most compassionate, intuitive and wisely guides others in connecting with their own depth and meaning.
+ The mature Persephone may be found working as a healer, therapist, herbalist, Tarot card reader, astrologer, writer, photographer, musician, medical intuitive, gardener.
+ Persephone requires sufficient ‘alone’ time to regenerate her energies because she so absorbs the vibrations/emotions of those around her. Music, nature and mystical experiences recharge her batteries.
+ As a mother, Persephone may be connected to her children in intuitive, psychic ways and less focused on their physicality.
http://goddess-power.com/persephone.htm
Persephone is said to have a younger counterpart to herself--Kore--another name for the young Persephone. Psychologically, this may be a representation of two or three levels of this archetype: Kore, the Maiden, Persephone (or Demeter), the mature Woman, and Hecate, the Wise Crone.
Persephone type woman is more attracted to the spiritual nature rather than the physicality of her partner. She may unconsciously attract destructive relationships or potentially controlling partners. As an unconscious protective measure, she may choose a safe alternative in a younger, non-threatening partner whom she can mother.
The ancient Olympian Goddesses - a deeper look
Persephone - represents the feminine archetype of the mediumistic mystic, connected with the spirit-world. She is also the archetypal child--radiating optimism and good hope.
Mythological history:
Kore, daughter of Demeter, was the maiden aspect of Persephone. Kore, the maiden, was abducted (at the suggestion of Zeus) and raped by Hades and forced to be his wife. In the myth of Persephone, young Kore was plucking flowers in a field when Hades, her uncle and god of the Underworld, abducted her to be his Queen in the dark world below. The goddess, Hecate, strongly associated with the dark side of the moon and with witchcraft - was the only one to witness Kore’s abduction. She hears Persephone’s cries but does nothing, herself, to help and, furthermore, does not seek help from others.
Kore was extremely unhappy in the darkness of the Underworld. She also missed her mother, Demeter, terribly, as they had such a close mother-daughter bond. Kore was ultimately allowed to rejoin her mother, who had arranged Persephone’s release. However, Persephone was obligated to return each Fall to spend four months of each year in the underworld as consort to Hades because she had eaten four pomegranate seeds. It is thought that Kore as ‘maiden’, Demeter as ‘mother’ and Hecate as ‘wise crone’ represent, in more ancient times, the three-fold nature of Persephone in the various life cycles of a woman.
Psychologically Persephone is immersed in the collective unconscious--absorbed & molded by it. She acts out those “unacceptable” aspects in her environment, which others will not acknowledge--therefore, she activates that which others perceived as dangerous--and this becomes her personal problem. Persephone functions as seer, medicine woman. She belongs to the category of ‘vulnerable goddess’ - suffering pain in relationship--humiliation by abduction and rape. Her consciousness is diffuse, taking in all, rather than focused.
* To the Romans Persephone was known as Proserpine.
* Typically, Persephone woman possesses a youthful face at any age.
* She is a pleaser type whose tendency is not inclined toward assertive directness.
* Her nature--sympathetic, highly tuned into people’s feelings and needs
* She is responsiveness to the needs of others - has difficulty saying ‘no’ --difficulty recognizing and asserting her own boundaries.
* Directionally unsure, lacking solidity of purpose possessed by her virgin goddess sisters
* Musing and intuitive nature rather than intellectual mind - difficulty ‘explaining’ her reasoning as it is an intuitive perception.
* Less at ease with/in her body & sexuality than other goddess types
* Strong connection to spirit - deep ambivalence toward outer world & her sense of being misunderstood & alienated from conventional society
* A primarily Persephone type, keenly sensitive, typically possesses a fragile ego structure, therefore, easily overwhelmed by feelings and impressions from her unconscious
* Persephone type has difficulty discriminating and has difficulty putting her impressions into words.
* Keen ability to cross over into other realms of psychic consciousness - very at home in the world beyond the physical senses
* Attracted to metaphysics, healing, intuitive, service-oriented work
* By nature she is reclusive/retreating, secretive, possessing a sensitive system requiring time away from external stimulation.
* “Underworld” understood as ‘unconscious’--then, Persephone has been abducted to the ‘unconscious’--to deal with aspects of her own personal unconscious material and also the collective unconscious.
* She experiences episodes of depression, and/or bouts of mysterious, difficult to diagnose illnesses.
* A primarily Persephone type is not promiscuous. She may be unwittingly drawn to partners that attempt to dominate/control her. As a protection she may shift to much younger lovers whom she can mother and with whom she can feel safe.
Challenges facing Persephone
o Persephone (Kore) was forced to live in the Underworld for part of the year. Persephone woman is, likewise, required to acknowledge and visit her own inner underworld--her Dark side - the consequence of this avoidance is exposure to considerable suffering:
+ prone to attracting people with severe problems or possibly abusive behaviors
+ prone to mysterious illnesses difficult to diagnose or treat
+ sense of deep alienation, isolation, depression
o Indicators that Persephone woman has not sufficiently completed her ‘Hades’ decent:
+ ever-youthful ‘facial mask’ that defies her actual age by mid life
+ she may tend to wear her hair long and loose in young-girl fashion even into mid life
+ she tends toward flowery, or girlish clothing - having not yet matured her sense of self into the Mother/Crone aspects of this goddess
Persephone’s task
Persephone’s task is to return to the Mother--return to the mature goddess who now knows separation, sexuality and death. In fact, the two goddesses are one - in fact, they are three: the maiden, the Mother and the wise Crone. The cycle of life and death need to be embraced - dualities such as light and dark. When Persephone woman attempts to blot out/deny the awareness of her dark side: anger, rage--she remains the uncompleted maiden. The mature Persephone who has returned from her underworld journey has seen all; she unites birth and death within herself. She has become the wise woman, cheerful, however also having accessed her repressed rage, still retaining her youthfulness as an elder, mature woman.
Persephone’s dark side
The archetypal victim - whereby she feels powerless in the midst of her circumstances - or long-sufferer/martyr - “surviving” on sympathy of others -- and, the flip side -- Hecate - the witch & killer - the one who ignored Persephone’s cries -- unconscious, repressed rage which is projected onto others
Persephone’s wound
A woman overly identified with the Persephone archetype will find herself repeatedly attracted to situations, people or health issues that diminish her sense of personal power. These situations/events do not appear to be her own doing--they seem to happen to her, out of the blue. Yet, she seems strongly drawn to these happenings, again and again and cause her repeated grief.
Persephone’s task
o uniting the dark and the light sides of the goddess within herself - by increasingly embracing the long-suffering victim/martyr into her conscious awareness. Addressing her issue regarding power. Willingness to look into the face of this suffering and understanding her relation to it--not from a place of blame, rather, empowerment. Recognizing that such a strong attachment to the Light castes a very dark shadow.
o Persephone must renounce her maiden self (the lovely, nice, gentle persona with it’s lofty ideals and attachment to ‘innocence’, and to renounce her helplessness)- allowing it’s death - as she descends to meet with Hades - and, eventually, emerging as the Woman-- in recognition of her power that she, now, accepts - no longer projecting this power onto others.
Persephone’s gifts
Her receptivity, intuition, empathy toward the suffering of others, her keen powers of imagination, inspiration, ability to read the hearts and minds of others. Persephone, once matured through her own inner work, is the guide to the Underworld
Persephone’s personality
o As a child & adolescent:
+ Quiet, unassuming, compliant, eager to please - similar to a willow - will tend to bend along with the circumstances or in relation to stronger personalities around her
+ Introverted, imaginative, often lives in her ‘own little world’ of make-believe, perhaps as a strategy to escape the unpleasantness she experiences in her family environment
+ She often prefers playing alone, by herself.
+ She enjoys her solitude, a Persephone child may be found daydreaming, listening to music.
+ Unsure of her preferences, difficulty making decisions
+ Persephone child is often the family “problem” child or scape-goat because her sensitivities do not conform to family norms.
+ Persephone child often faces trauma in childhood, emotional and/or physical.
o As a mature woman:
+ The mature Persephone has grappled with the maiden, Kore, aspect of her nature. She is learning to ‘tell her truth’ - rather than avoiding and/or lying to others in fear of displeasing them. She is learning to set healthy boundaries--saying ‘no’, rather than acting in manipulative, indirect or blaming ways to meet her needs--avoiding conflict.
+ The mature Persephone is learning to take care of herself, learning to meet her own needs, responsibly, as she understands, now, how she has blamed others in the past.
+ The mature Persephone is developing a conscious relationship with her ‘inner male’, in Jungian terms, her animus, which means, developing her assertive/action nature.
+ The mature Persephone finds value and meaning in spiritual ritual.
+ The mature Persephone who has undergone her transformative experience in Hades is, now, equipped to guide others in their descent into the underworld. She is most compassionate, intuitive and wisely guides others in connecting with their own depth and meaning.
+ The mature Persephone may be found working as a healer, therapist, herbalist, Tarot card reader, astrologer, writer, photographer, musician, medical intuitive, gardener.
+ Persephone requires sufficient ‘alone’ time to regenerate her energies because she so absorbs the vibrations/emotions of those around her. Music, nature and mystical experiences recharge her batteries.
+ As a mother, Persephone may be connected to her children in intuitive, psychic ways and less focused on their physicality.
http://goddess-power.com/persephone.htm
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