Monday, June 27, 2011

More realizations: What's up with Demeter?!

And what's up with having realizations in the middle of the night? These things can't come at normal hours? I have to get them at three in the morning???

As I was posting that massive series of explorations of all the archetypes (this is what I do on my free weekends... ) I had several realizations. They are as follows:

I know why I love animals so much... and why I can seem to understand them in way s that almost no one else can; it's because I'm an Artemis, and Artemis is in tune with nature and animals. I'm guessing other strong Artemis types will have a similar ability and affiliation. I think Artemis types tend to love and feel comfortable with animals... probably more than they do with people. I know this is certainly true for me - even though I'm actually pretty oversensitive to what people are feeling (as a result of Persephone craving for approval) I find animals much easier to understand than people. I may know that a person is feeling a certain way but it's hard for me to get into their heads and predict what will make them feel that way. Animals are very different - not only am I much more attuned to what they're thinking and feeling than most people I've ever met, I know what will make them think and feel that way. It sometimes amazes me that someone can't see what a particular animal is feeling as it seems so obvious to me. I think this is also related to my impatience for gossip, reality shows, etc. - I relate much more to the natural world than to people. The fact that I have no mature goddesses has a lot to do with it, too - the Queens are the goddesses who focus their energies on their relationships with other humans. So I think that Goddess Power's insight that Artemis needs to be in nature misses that for many of us, we keep our nature with us in the form of our animal friends.

As I was reading Goddess Power talk about Persephone needing to do being letting go of our youthful selves and embrace our Queen and Crone selves another light went off in my head. A sign of this problem is retaining a "youthful mask" into middle age and that's definitely true - people regularly think I'm 10 or even more years younger than I actually am. Although part of my problem is that I have a very young group of archetypes (all pages or knights, no queens or kings), I think my problem goes beyond just being what I am to actually resisting growing up in ways I can grow up. I just don't want to be a grown up! I have to let go of Petra Pan and accept being the Queen of Hell... which is funny, I have no problem with the "hell" part, just the grown up part :p

And finally, the mystery of why I'm so attracted to Demeter types... and why I hurt them without having a clue as to what I did. First off, despite the fact that I'm about as freaky as you get, and Demeters are as nice, conservative, "hearts and flowers" as you'll ever get, we get along like a house on fire! Like a whole BLOCK of houses on fire!! Obviously, Pesephone's still looking for her Mom, and Mom's also looking for her lost daughter.  It also explains my problems with them - even through I'm drawn to them, I'm also very solitary and don't need them... or anyone else. And the one thing Demeter's can't handle is not being needed! My grandmother, with whom I lived in high school, was a Demeter and the biggest, most upsetting incidents - I can't call them fights because it would just be me cluelessly doing  something and her getting incredibly upset - was because I'd inadvertently sent the message "I don't need you." Like when I started doing my own laundry in preparation for living on my own in college. This was HUGE TRAUMA for my poor Demeter grandmother, and my poor, self sufficient Artemis, and approval seeking Persephone got upset when Demeter got upset... It was an all around bad situation, let me tell you! And, until I read about Demeter and the Queen of Pentacles and The Empress, I really didn't get why she was so upset, but I get it now. It makes me want to go visit her and give her a hug.

Archeypes are AWESOME! I think I'm going to sign off every post with that :)

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